Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

His Ignored Wife

By: Strangeoutcast

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

- Title: The title seems accurate to the story

- Cover: The cover looks nice except it is hard to read the words at the bottom and author's name.

- Blurb: The blurb is a little lengthy and it could work well without the except.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)There's a couple typos here and there but nothing extreme.

Plot:

- The reasoning behind the MC staying in a miserable life doesn't seem strong enough'It makes it a bit of a difficult to understand when the marriage seems so dysfunctional to begin with.

- There is a lot of good descriptions, however it feels like there is an overwhelming amount of exposition at the beginning, so maybe more showing and keeping less information in between the dialogue would help.

-It takes a long time to get a good first hand impression on the characters other than the MC.

-The story takes on a very melodramatic mood to it, which while it is noted that the piece is quite somber, it makes it hard to read if there is too much.

There is good imagery in this story, and maybe with some changes, this story can take on a life of its own. Best wishes!