Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

His Bitter Cupcake

By Miss_whts_her_name

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is fitting.

-Cover: The cover is fine.

-Blurb: The blurb is good but the grammar could use a review.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There were a couple grammatical errors spotted, but it is understood that some chapters have a note about the editing.

Plot

- One technicality that was noticed was that In the chapter titled "Session 3," the therapist mentions someone named Walter. We were never told who Walter was, or if we were told in the past, perhaps it's a good idea to re-introduce this character for those who forgot.

- Good amount of emotional energy in this story, there's definitely scenes where you really feel the frustration.

- Great last lines to the chapters, the chapters end on good beats.

- I appreciated the analogies/metaphors that are used in this story.

Characters

- I felt like the therapist was out of line when she said some things or unprofessional. One instance was in Session 1, when she asked Maria, "Do you want to carry on? We can stop if you want," it seemed to be said at a sort of random point in her story. Perhaps this question would be more fitting if Maria was having trouble telling the story due to overwhelming emotion. But that being said, I do understand that not every therapist out there is always professional or conventional.

This is a story that definitely gives some food for thought on dealing with grief. Good luck with your writing journey ahead!

-Ellie