Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Sakura Eyes

By: naeomiiii

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

- The title seems fitting to the plot

- The cover works but the text is a little hard to read.

- The blurb covers all necessary points

Mechanics- (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc)

-There weren't any noticeable errors.

Plot & Characters:

-May comes off as way younger than 12, as her actions seem more like a five-year-old. While it was mentioned that she acted younger than her age, it was quite difficult to imagine a twelve-year-old instead of a small child.

-May calls her sister "sis" to start off her sentences a lot.

-The first two chapters had a lot of extra information before the action, so maybe one chapter could provide enough context to start the inciting event.

- Especially in chapter three, there are large paragraphs with just descriptions of the boys appearance.

- It is not very clearly explained why there is a group of teenage boys in a forest, like their purpose or where they're from.

-There seemed to be a pattern of the boys addressing her as "miss" often, and it felt unusual or at least unaddressed.

While there's a few things to take a look at, there is an interesting plot that is unfolding. Good luck with your story!