Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Under Your Influence

By: abusiveblueberries

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is good.

-Cover: The cover is great.

-Blurb: Maybe mention that he's a movie star in the blurb.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- The grammar seems to be relatively flawless.

Plot & Characters

- It is really hard to tell for the longest time whether Crash is a movie star or a singer.

- The producer doesn't really stay with the star since their discovery- that might be more the manager's job. A producer of a movie stays with just that movie or even production studio, but does not manage the stars.

- In the 10th Chapter, "His Modest Order" He sees his spiky hair over his coffee cup but it said at the beginning he was wearing a baseball cap.

This story is written well and the two main characters have well developed personalities. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!