Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Let Me Love You Even Though You're Gay

By: _KittyCruz_

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title raises eyebrows. While it may make sense within the context of the story, it may deter readers because it could suggest that being gay is a bad thing or undeserving of love.

-Cover: The cover is okay but the title's font blends into the background, making it difficult to see.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is good, there are no obvious errors.

Plot & Characters

- There were a lot of characters introduced in the first chapter. They were introduced properly with enough information to know who they were, but there were still quite a few names to remember.

- In the second chapter, her date calls her Atty. Lady which exactly how the security guard regarded her, so it's like they both have the same 'nickname' for her which is strange unless that's what she goes by as her name.

- The third chapter starts with a massive paragraph of descriptions of the room. Perhaps try dispersing this information throughout the chapter a little more to avoid a large chunk at the beginning.

- In the forth chapter, it isn't apparent that Lancelot is a band until it's explicitly said in the fifth chapter.

The prose is nicely done, it will be interesting to see how the story develops. We wish you the best!