Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

On the Alter

By: Bookworm_Love4me

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is nice but the author's name is a little small.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

-Title: The title works.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

There are some grammar issues to address, but not a distracting amount.

Plot & Characters

- The story takes a while to actually get started.

- There are a lot of characters introduced at the beginning so it's hard to keep up with who is who and to really get to know them.

- In the prologue, why would the bride allow the maid of honor to have roses in her bouquet if the husband-to-be is terribly allergic?

- In Chapter 2 it mentions that she was the only one from her group who had a license at 16, but usually 16 year olds can only have permit, which means they can't drive without a licensed driver in the car with them.

- It was a bit strange that both Mystique and Crystal used 'sweetie' when comforting Martin, like their character voice is a bit identical.

The prose is written well and this reads like a nice chick-lit story. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!