Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

My little El

By Mini_Peppermint

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title seems fitting. Just a note, however, typically all words in a title are capitalized.

-Cover: the cover is nice but the text fades into the background a little.

-Blurb: The blurb can be a bit more straightforward, as we recommend using simpler wording so readers can get a good understanding of what the story is about.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There are some grammar mistakes, so maybe an editor can help.

- The metaphors are nice, but sometimes the same thought can be conveyed in a simpler fashion and it would still be eloquent.

- However, it is noteworthy that there are some excellent lines as well.

Plot

- At first glance, it seemed like she was going to take her life in the last scene. Upon re-reading, it does not seem to be the case, but maybe rewording the end would help avoid that confusion.

Characters

- Very interesting characters, especially with Lukas, but one comment would be to explore more hobbies, quirks, personality traits in Eleanore to give her a more complete character.

'My Little El' is a thought-provoking story. We wish you luck on your writing journey!