Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Mistress of Embers

By: faodaile

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover looks good.

-Blurb: With the blurb, it's a bit hard to tell what the plot besides the pending danger and there are several characters mentioned but they all seem kind of separate. What do they have in common? It also seems like we need to know legends in order to understand the story. 

-Title: The title is fine.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is decent.

Plot & Characters

- There's quite a bit of descriptions, so it takes a while to understand where the story is going. So perhaps give some context to this action scene and define what's at stake for the main character to give the reader some direction.

- There are a lot of characters introduced to the story at once, so discerning between the characters and names gets difficult. One suggestion would be to give more information about the new character's relationship to the main character, a bit about them, as well as some defining characteristics.

- The story feels like it kind of starts in the middle of a series or story, where the conflict is already in full swing so it's hard to catch up on what's happening. 

Best of luck to you in your writing journey!