Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Dear Tressi

By: questint

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: The cover is nice

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

-Title: The title works.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is pretty good, maybe a stray typo or two.

Plot & Characters

- The blurb suggests that she had a great life with her husband and her job, but in the first chapter, there is not much mention or emphasis on it. Perhaps if you start the story at a point that illustrates her current, 'normal' life, it will help readers see what her life was like after she moved away from home, and what she was leaving behind in order to revisit her childhood.

- It's not that clear as to what happened to the sister. It is later discovered that the MC doesn't know how she died, but perhaps mention that she doesn't know from the start. This might help build some of the mystery as well.

- In Chapter six, instead of writing 'sob', maybe include sobbing as a dialogue tag, like "[Quote]," she sobbed.

- The chapter with the warden felt like there was a lot of new names and characters all at once without a lot of context or introduction, so it was a bit hard to follow along.

This story definitely has good emotion and the chapters end on good beats. It will be interesting to see where the plot goes. Best of luck to you in your writing journey!