Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Greaser Queen

By: CrazyKatiexox

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Cover: It's a little hard to see the red text with the black and white background.

-Blurb: The blurb is fine.

-Title: The title is good.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

The grammar is mostly solid.

Plot & Characters

- In Chapter one, the father mentions that she will be late for school, but then she goes to a store. It felt a bit odd that she would go to a store before school, especially if she's on a time crunch.

- In Chapter two, it seemed unnatural for her to ask her bully about the name of the unknown boy. Instead, perhaps she could ask a bystander or a peer who is not her bully.

- There's a lot of extra details in the writing. For example, in chapter two, there's a lot of description about how she exits her vehicle.

- The overall pacing of the story seems a bit slow and it is a long story. 

Best of luck to you in your writing journey!