Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Bridges Burned

by EYTA-J

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

Cover:

-There is a white line on the left.

-The title does not stand out apart from the author's name and it is a little difficult to read.

-The way the man is dressed also seems like it would be more of a medieval setting, but it's a modern business setting so it doesn't convey the mood.

Title: The title seems fine.

Blurb:

- The excerpt is a little long and unfocused.

-The blurb itself covers a lot of the information needed, however there are several grammatical errors.

Mechanics (Grammar, sentence structure)

-There are words that are capitalized when they are usually lower case, which is a little distracting.

-It might be good to watch out for punctuation errors, and maybe keep in mind that sometimes less is more when it comes to using all caps for emphasis. Instead, the emphasis can be conveyed through dialogue tags.

-Maybe limiting the face claims to one photo per character might keep the cast list to one part so it is a little less disruptive to the story.

Plot/Characters

- The plot seems to have a direction that is interesting.

- The characters have distinctive personalities that are conveyed well.

While there may be some room to improve the grammar, there is an interesting storyline being developed, and it is not just plot-less and steamy.