Elephant Reviews [CFCU]

Powerless: Be Careful What You Wish For

By:  GlitchandGlitz

First Impressions (ex. Cover, blurb, title)

-Title: The title is good.

-Cover: The cover is nice.

-Blurb: The blurb seems to convey the story.

Mechanics (ex. Grammar, sentence structure, etc.)

- There didn't seem to be too many grammar issues.

- Keep an eye on the amount of point of view changes within a chapter. Too many changes can disrupt the flow of the story.

Plot & Characters

- We felt like some things could have been explained more up front, as it seems like it is a normal high school story at the beginning. Perhaps if some elements were introduced earlier, such as the superpowers, it would hook readers more.

- There were a lot of characters introduced all at once in some places, like in Chapter Two. This makes it difficult for readers to keep track of who is who, so maybe providing more context about each character or spacing out the introductions would help.

- The royalty system was confusing. Some questions we had include (but are not limited to): Are they actually royalty by blood? How are the royalty positions determined? How do royal adolescents have more power or intimidation factor over adults?

- Though the blurb explained a little about the society, perhaps exploring more about how the society works within the chapters would help readers get a clearer image of the world that this story takes place in.

- A suggestion would be to be wary of exaggerating some of the personalities (especially the antagonist characters) to deepen the characters from just 'the bad guys' to more complex, nuanced characters.

This seems like there is an interesting mystery being unveiled in this story, and we wish you luck in your writing journey!