Stupid Supergirl AU's

Baking

"I feel so sick." Lena groaned as she started to sweat.
"Why did we let Kara bake?" Alex's tone matched Lena's.
"It's not my fault the eggs and milk were bad." Kara crossed her arms.
Nia vomited into a bucket beside her, "Were the lumps not a good indication?"
"Milk doesn't have lumps?" Kara raised her eyebrow.
"Oh my god, you're so useless." Alex started to rock herself.
"Kara, why do I smell fire?" Lena sat up from her place on the couch.
"Somebody's looking better." Kelly pointed out.
"My Kara lit my kitchen on fire sense is tingling." Lena glared at Kara.
Kara thought to herself for a second, "Oh no!" She yelled, "The potstickers!"
"Kara Zor-El Danvers-Luthor! Put that fire out immediately or Jess will throw you into the sun!" Lena disciplined.
"Okay, okay!" Kara rushed to put out the fire as quickly as possible.

~Twenty minutes later~

"That was the last house we could live in Kara!" Alex lectured her.
"Why is it always a fire? Why couldn't it be a broken thermostat?" Lena sobbed, "That was my favourite carpet."
"Maybe you should stop buy expensive carpet. Or just carpet in general." Nia pointed out.
"But it makes for funny reading." Lena replied, still sobbing.
"Reading?" Alex thought aloud. "Lena! Stop breaking the forth wall!" Alex crossed her arms, "People will get sick of it."
"Dude, we're at 22.4 thousand reads. Read the comments, Alex." Lena rolled her eyes.
"Guys, stop. Lena go back to crying about your carpet, Alex go back to lecturing your sister." Kelly stepped in.
"Are you...are you drinking my whiskey?" Lena pointed at the black bottle.
"No."
"Liar! I can smell it from here!" Lena accused Kelly.
"Lena, can't you just buy a new house?" Brainy questioned as they watched the firemen put out the flames.
"Oh no, no, no, no." Lena shook her head, "This time, Kelly can take out a mortgage and buy a house for us to live in."
"Why me?!"
"Because, you're the one who assured me that Kara would be able to bake a cake. Now I'm sick, pregnant and homeless." Lena explained.
"Lowkey forgot that Lena has to be pregnant for Lorelei to be born." Nia admitted.
"So did the writer." Brainy pointed out.
"Stop breaking the forth wall!" J'onn groaned.
"Wait. J'onn lived with us?" Kara looked to Lena.
"So does Winn and Mon-El. But I locked Mon-El in a lead cage in the backya-" Lena looked towards the house, "Oh my god, Mon-El!" Lena gasped.
"Lena's worried about Mon-El?" Alex questioned.
"He's the one person she can torture without Kara saying anything." J'onn pointed out, "If Mon-El dies, Lena won't have anyone to openly throw darts at."
"I told you guys, its only darts if I painted the board on him and call out points. I'm just giving him a free acupuncture session." Lena defended.
"But you do call out points." Alex pointed out. "And you do paint a target on him."
"Oh my god! It's just acupuncture lingo." Lena rolled her eyes.
"Then why did you lock him in a cage?" Kara raised her eyebrow.
"Jess locked Hope in there and Hope wanted some company." Lena informed her, "I was just helping out-" Lena stopped, "Oh my god! Hope!"
"I got her." Jess said, holding the A.I in her arms.
"You saved Hope?" They all jinxed.
"Look, I hate her, but if she melts it will take Lena forever to fix her. I need my rival." Jess mumbled.
"So you ran into a burning building, found my key, unlocked the cage. Then you saw Mon-El and Hope and decided to save Hope? Not Mon-El?" Lena recollected the events.
"Yeah. As I said, I hate her with a burning passion, but I would miss the competition." Jess admitted.
"So I'm competition?" Hope asked.
"Shut up or I will throw you into the sun like Scar should've done with Simba." Jess replied.
"Andddd now they're back to normal." Kara said as Jess handed Hope to her.
Lena snapped Mon-El as soon as she saw him, "Now I remember why I threw you in a cage."
"Anddd so are they." Alex chuckled.