Stupid Supergirl AU's

ITS CHAPTER 69!!

"Did you know that Kara is two years too young to be a boomer?" Nia asked everyone.
"Are you saying that Kara is a gilf?" Kelly questioned.
"Hold up, Lena is screwing someone who's almost twice her age!" Alex laughed.
"To be fair, I have mommy issues, that was to be expected." Lena sipped her I-have-trauma whiskey.
"Why are we talking about my age?" Kara finally tuned into the conversation.
"Because Nia found your id."
"Are we going to discuss how comfortable Lena is with the fact that she's dating a sixty-year-old?"
"Nope. If I wanted to talk about something like that, I'd be drinking my therapy whiskey in Kelly's office. Not here in my house." Lena answered Alex.

"Guys, I think I broke Brainy." Nia dragged him by his ankles out to everyone.
"What did you do?" Lena rushed to her feet.
"Well, I called him candied vascular system pump instead of sweetheart and he just collapsed and started crying." Nia explained.
"Suddenly I don't want to live here anymore." Kelly crossed her arms.
"I actually like the idea of calling your significant other by synonyms of cliche nicknames."
"Kara, don't you da-"
Kara interrupted Lena, "Lena's my infant woman."
"Kelly's my dulcet dessert." Alex tried you stop herself from laughing.
"Alex is my-"
"Kelly, if you cross the line into dumbass territory, I will backhand you so hard you'll find wherever Jess threw Hope." Lena threatened.
"Speaking of Jess." Jess walked through the door, "Hope burnt down my apartment. Your hentai-loving A.I turned off my smoke alarms and turned on my oven."
"This has officially gone too far." Lena sighed, standing up, "What did you do in retaliation?"
"I told her to stop taking Alexa's dick while giving Siri hand jobs and find something better to do with her time." Jess admitted, "Also, I plugged in Alexa and started asking Alexa questions. It was kinda funny how red Hope turned."
"What else?" Lena asked.
"Oh, I said yeet the trash, and this whore of a machine got me thrown out of L-Corp." Jess said, her anger rising, "So I wrapped the Wish version of Siri in a blanket and tossed her off of your office balcony."
"Kara, do me a favour and go get Hope. We're going to have a mediation. I'm sick of having so many kids."
"But Lori isn't even born yet." Kara pitched in.
"And she will be your problem once she is."

~Two Hours Later~

"Don't you know Lena has incredibly high standards?" Hope sassed Jess.
"Really? That woman took one look at Kara and her ovaries damn near fell out on to the floor and started dry-humping her! That woman took one look at Kara and had a whole ass conversation with herself about Kara's boobs! There is nothing high about Lena's standards. If you're Kara, you are literally meeting all her standards!" Jess argued.
"Maybe arts and crafts was a bad idea." Alex pointed out as she tried her best to draw Kelly.
"Say what you want, but Kara made a macaroni frame and Lena is putting it on the fridge." Kelly glanced over, "I'm kinda starting to agree with Jess."
"Speaking of dry-humping, why don't you go hit on Google Home?" Jess finished her rant and went quiet when Lena came back to look at their art work.
"Miss Luthor, Jess said that your ovaries-"
"YEET THE TRASH!" Jess exclaimed as she threw Hope out of the window again.

For personal childish reasons, I will not be posting for a few hours (at least) or until I stop giggling and saying "Nice"