Stupid Supergirl AU's

Kidnapped Lori (Again)

"Hey Mr Kidnapper, what's the address? I wanna order a pizza." She asked.
"You don't get pizza! How did you even get out of the Kryptonite chains?" He looked at the adult who was still wearing her super-suit.
"Well, I am part magic. It will take more than Kryptonite for you to hold me. Now, I will stay here with you - willingly - if I can order pizza." She replied.
"Can I get a large pepperoni?" The other guy asked.
"Sure!"
"No! You are not getting pizza." He rubbed his temples, "Get back in your chains!"
"Fine." Lori huffed. "But you're getting half a star on Air B&B."
"We're not a bed and breakfast! You're kidnapped!" The main guy looked as if the vein in his forehead was about to burst.

A few hours later, Lori was playing UNO with the kidnappers.
"How did you even convince us to play with you?" The kidnapper asked.
"This is usually what happens when I get kidnapped." Lori shrugged, "Lillian calls it the Danvers effect."
"Well, just remember. We kidnapped you." He pointed out.
"Did you?" Lori held up a reverse card, "UNO reverse. You're now kidnapped."
The kidnappers gasped.
"No! Let us go!" They begged as Lori chained them up.
"No can do. I'm gonna call your mothers and demand-" Lori looked towards them, "What's their incomes like? Because I don't want them to be homeless after this."
"We're actually pretty broke. Like I actually kidnapped you so I could pay for my kid's college." He admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" Lori looked at him, "Student debt is a bitch man. I would've happily paid for it. You don't have to resort to a life of crime." Lori unchained them, "Come to think of it...I don't actually know why any of my villains are villains. I never bothered to ask."
"You'd pay for my kid's college?" He farrowed his eyebrows.
Lori just gave him a puzzled look, "It's not like I don't have the money or anything. The tuition wouldn't even dent my bank account. So why not?"

~ A few hours later ~

"I don't know how you did it, but this food is amazing!" Lori complimented the kidnapper.
"Thank you," He smiled brightly, "I studied to be a chef at college...then things went horribly wrong."
"You should totally come work at L-Corp! We're always looking for kitchen staff." Lori suggested, "You can't try to poison anyone though. That's like my one rule."
"Where is she?!" An angry Wanda landed, changing to a very confused expression, "Lori? What are you doing?"
"Oh, hi Wanda." Lori greeted her.
"Lori, you're sitting around a dinner table with the people who kidnapped you. Please explain the situation." Wanda looked between them.
"Oh, so, this is Jeff. He's an amazing cook. He's going to work at L-Corp in the kitchen. He kidnapped me so he could put his kid through college - which is completely understandable. We're friends now." Lori explained briefly.
Wanda rubbed her temples, "I'm guessing the Danvers effect happened to you as well?"
"Yep." Jeff nodded, "I mean, this is better than having to kill her if Lena didn't pay up."
Wanda pulled out a chair and sat down, "You made me worry!" She shoved Lori.
"Sorry babe." Lori gave her a soft smile, "But I'm okay. Isn't that the important thing?"
"I guess." Wanda sighed, telepathically telling the others that Lori is okay.