The she-wolf and the lion

Chapter 44 - "the truth will set you free"

At the sept of Baelor, Cersei is interrogated by the septa yet again.
"Confess, it is too well known that you always lusted after your brother Jaime and that you tried killing his lady wife when she was pregnant with his firstborn son", the septa says.

The septa dumps a bucket of cold water over Cersei. "Confess, the truth will set you free", the septa says.

Cersei knows it's a lie, confessing to this crone will give her nothing but trouble, but confessing also might prevent her from getting another bucket of ice cold water dumped on her.
"I wish to confess", Cersei says. "I confess that I've always lusted after Jaime, especially when he'd become a man, I confess that I got jealous when I realized that it wasn't me that he wanted but rather that wolf woman that he married and fathered pups on."
"And?" The septa says.
"I had a knife placed in their marriage bed out of spite and jealousy when I learned from a former chambermaid at Casterly Rock that lady Lyra was pregnant with my first nephew, with the intention of it piercing her while she was making love to my brother, I assumed it would be done with him on top and that his weight would push her in to the mattress and have the blade go in through her back, to kill her while she was making love with Jaime", Cersei says.
"But it didn't, did it? Lady Lyra lived, as did the child, their guard captain pulled the knife out of the bed before it managed to seriously hurt her, both he and lady Lyra questioning who, how and why the knife was placed in that way in the bed but Jaime knew why, he remembered that the chambermaid had been a close confidant of yours at Casterly Rock and right away put two and two together", the septa says.
"Jaime of course always knew it was me who bribed the chambermaid to place the knife in their bed, she made one mistake, making a pass at him in front of lady Lyra and the family's guard captain", Cersei says.
"Made a pass at him?" The septa asks.
"Yes, she tried to seduce him, tried to excite him, but he was never interested in her, he only ever wanted his wife", Cersei says.
"And you? Did you also make passes at Jaime?" The septa asks.
"Yes, I did, multiple times, it started when we were maybe nine years old, I wanted to share his bed, tried to touch his manhood, wanted to played with it, but he wouldn't let me, he told father about it, father told mother and they started to watch me a bit closer so I wouldn't try anything else with Jaime", Cersei says. "And then they made more serious arrangements for Jaime to marry Lyra Stark, sent him away to become a ward of lord and lady Stark at Winterfell, lady Lyra's mother and father, and when lady Lyra turned 11 and Jaime was 13, they were promised to each other".
"When was Jaime sent back to Casterly Rock? Or was it to King's Landing he was sent?"?the septa asks.
"He was sent to King's Landing when we were 16", Cersei says. "He then became a soldier in the Lannister army, he became second in command when he was 18, a year later he got captured as a war trophy by the Stark army and got tortured by lady Lyra, whom he ended up actually falling in love with, and since they were now both of age, they could marry and start breeding."
"And when were you promised to Robert Baratheon?" the septa asks.
"I was promised to Robert when I was 14, so a year after Jaime was promised to Lyra", Cersei says.
"But you still lusted after Jaime, didn't you?" the septa asks.
"I did, I've always lusted after him, when he'd become a man and had gotten body hair, all I wanted to do was to touch him, taste him, explore his body", Cersei says. "But he never let me, he never wanted me and then he married the Stark woman, a woman that's half a wolf, she was his first lover, his only lover, and she broke him."
"Had you expected him to let you do those things to him?" the septa asks.
"Yes, I had expected him to let me do those things to him, I thought he would like it if it was me that did those things to him", Cersei says. "But he didn't let me, and let his lady wife do worse things to him."
"Worse things?" the septa asks.
"She exposed him to sexual torture", Cersei says, feigning shock. "Beat him, cut him, deprived him of ejaculation, inserted things in him."
"How do you know this?" the septa asks.
"I saw the scars on him", Cersei says.
"How are you so sure the scars you saw on him were inflicted by lady Lyra and not from battle?" the septa asks. "And scars don't prove that Lyra deprived Jaime of ejaculation or exposed him to sexual torture."
"I heard them when me and lord Robert were visiting them at Casterly Rock after they had gotten married, and...and...", Cersei presses out a couple fake tears.
"And?" The septa asks.
"He screamed, my Jaime screamed", Cersei says.
"And you are sure that his screams were of pain?" the septa asks.
"Yes, of course, why else would he scream like that?" Cersei asks. "He sounded like a wounded animal."
"Out of pleasure? Some men scream out of pleasure during sex, you know that, don't you?" the septa asks. "And sometimes it sounds like that, some men sound like wounded animals when they find their sexual release."