ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

WINTER

I went back to Uni when things had calmed down a little, but I had to lie about still having a stomach bug on the odd occasion that I felt nauseous while in class. Nobody suspected anything, but I still went straight there and straight home. I didn't socialise or go anywhere else, I just needed to get through the last few weeks of Uni before the Christmas break. 

In my last week, I visited the faculty and submitted paperwork to pause my studies for a year. I didn't want to stop going to Uni, but I had no choice. I loved what I did and it crushed my soul to know I would miss an entire year, that my classmates wouldn't be with me when I returned since they'd all be a year ahead of me and that I wouldn't have studies to distract me from my car crash disaster of a life. It was hard to accept that I would have to give up what I was passionate about, even it was only for a year. What was I going to do with all of that free time to do nothing but think and dwell on the past. I had breakdowns about the idea of losing the one thing that kept my mind occupied frequently, questioning if I was making the right decision or not... knowing that this could all be in the past and I wouldn't even miss a day of Uni  if I did what Jayce wanted me to do. The decision loomed over me every single day and through all of it, I still had fleeting moments of sadness and hurt from what happened with Oli. I couldn't help but think that if things hadn't of ended so badly with him, I wouldn't have done what I did with Jayce and this would have never happened. I cried about that a lot and honestly, sometimes it made me incredibly angry. I also kind of resented Cassidy for pushing me to go to that party. I blamed Oli, I blamed Jayce, I blamed Cassidy and I blamed myself. We were all to fucking blame for all of it. I hated all of us.

I didn't go on instagram anymore, all it did was make me feel miserable and upset when I saw happy couples, perfect people and beautiful girls living fabulous lives the way I used to a few months ago. I didn't go out with Cass, I just laid in bed watching crime documentaries and mind-bending thrillers to keep myself occupied and I tried to remain blissfully ignorant to my real life horror story. I practically became a recluse. I didn't want the world to see me or know I existed anymore. If I had the ability to, I would just completely disappear. 

One night while I was home alone, my phone beeped and I thought it would be Cassidy, but it was a message request from someone I didn't know. A girl.

"Is this Willow Madison?" she asked. 

What the fuck? I wondered if it was an old school friend or something, so I accepted the request and replied.

"It is..." I replied cautiously. 

"Are you pregnant??????" she asked.

Whoa. What? Who the hell was this and how did they know I was pregnant? Nobody knew about it...

"Who is this?" I asked, not willing to answer the question.

I watched the typing dots go on for ages...

"Your worst nightmare if you don't get rid of it 💔" they replied. 

I felt my chest tighten and my mouth suddenly go dry. A bolt of fear rushed through my chest as I re-read the message. I started trembling and I suddenly felt really afraid. I took a screen shot of the conversation then blocked the person without a second thought. My heart was racing and I instinctively ran around the house, checking the doors and windows were all locked properly.  

Who was that person?! It had to have been related to Jayce, but even if he told someone, they couldn't know I was still pregnant. I looked at the time and it was still an hour until Cassidy was home, so I locked myself in my bedroom. I felt safer in there. I was positive I never gave Jayce my address or even told him the suburb I lived in, so that eased my fears about him coming for me, but I was still completely freaked out. I told Cass about it when she got home, but nothing else happened after that, things seemed to go back to normal again.