ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

GOODBYE, FOR NOW

When we arrived in the city, we were right outside the Four Seasons and just down the street from Old Navy; a clothing store I got a lot of Ivy's basics from since the prices were good. "Do you mind if I pop up the road to grab something for Ivy? I can meet you back here in 10 minutes." I asked, wanting to make a little side trip. He insisted on coming with us and I guess deep down that made me feel safer, so we headed to Old Navy and straight to the baby section. "I never thought I'd be saying this, but baby clothes are adorable." Oli kind of chuckled as he just followed me around, touching little tiny outfits. "I know. Don't even get me started on the little fluffy animal onesies you can get." I replied. He just laughed. He wandered away as I picked out a couple of rompers in cute patterns, but only a few moments later I heard him calling me from across the store... beckoning me over once I'd noticed him. I pushed Ivy's pram over to him and cocked my head as I noticed how excited he looked. "I found something..." he said trailing off then holding up a tiny t-shirt.

'If you think I'm cute, you should see my Dad' the shirt read.

Oli was beaming with the biggest, dopiest smile and it was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. I tried to ignore how his smile made me feel and I laughed at him, but my heart was expanding inside my ribcage. "Can I please buy it for her?" he asked. I don't know why he thought he needed permission... "Of course you can." I giggled. "She'll need size triple 0." I advised. Oli found the size and looked so pleased with himself as we wandered to the registers and he placed the shirt on the counter. He insisting on paying for the rompers I was buying too, so I just let him. They weren't expensive anyway. The girl at the checkout was acting a little weirdly and I wondered if maybe she recognised Oli... though she didn't say anything, I just noticed the way she couldn't stop looking at him. Then again, maybe she just thought he was hot... or maybe she just didn't see so many heavily-tattooed guys buying adorable, pink, baby clothes. I had never really thought about what would happen if someone recognised Oli while he was with Ivy and I, or what would happen if it got out that he was a Father. It wouldn't be hard to deny it, or say we were shopping for a friend or something. The girl serving us didn't say anything and we left the store without any issues, but I guess it made me think about what would happen if and when the world knew about Ivy.

We headed to Oli's hotel and I waited in the lobby with Ivy as he went to get some things from his room. He invited me up, but I guess being in a hotel room with Oli again just felt wrong. It was too familiar, too triggering. It would bring back too many memories; not necessarily bad ones, but I was trying to leave the past alone. I didn't want it to affect me anymore. It was too risky. Let's also not forget that he was in a relationship. I didn't want my thoughts going anywhere they shouldn't, even though sometimes I couldn't stop them.

I waited with Ivy for 15 minutes while he showered and grabbed some things and then we headed for the tram. I didn't want to make a big deal of it and I tried to ignore the feelings circling in my stomach but as we arrived at the busy tram platform, I felt so uneasy. "Oli..." I said as he went and stood in line right by the edge of the platform, looking at me like he was waiting for me as I stopped as far back as was actually possible. "Um, I uh... this is the tram stop I got pushed." I said a little nervously, hesitating, almost hiding behind him. It was the first time I'd been back there since I was pushed onto the tracks and it brought back awful memories.
"Oh shit." he said with wide eyes, suddenly moving back from the edge to stand in front of me; almost like he was making himself into a physical barrier between me and the tracks. 
"I'm so sorry... I didn't realise." he said apologetically.
"No, it's OK, I just... you know, don't really want to stand too close." I said. He just nodded.

The tram was busy but someone gave up their seat for me, so I cradled Ivy and Oli just stood in front of us, keeping Ivy's pram in place and checking that I was OK more than once. It was nice to feel protected, like he cared and was looking out for me, but I didn't want to get used to it. I didn't want to enjoy or rely on having him there since he was leaving again in less than 24 hours... going back to his girlfriend. I'd be lying if I said that didn't sting a little bit but I knew that was why I couldn't get attached to him in any way. It was going to be harder than I first thought after how lovely he'd been all day... he was just so sweet with Ivy, but I knew I didn't have a choice.