ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

ESPECIALLY WITH YOU...

Oli and I headed back to my apartment in the afternoon and while I was prepping some things for dinner, Oli sat by the kitchen bench cuddling Ivy, just watching as I chopped vegetables. He did offer to help, but I was happy to be cooking, I'd always enjoyed doing it.

Cassidy arrived home and we sat together to eat the dinner I'd made. Cass had brought frozen yoghurt home for dessert too, the coconut vegan variety so Oli could participate, so dinner was extra delicious. It was Oli's last night with us, so it was nice to have something extra special. I had promised Oli to tell Cass about my trip to England that night so that he could start organising hotels and things over the next few days, but I didn't bring it up while he was there. It was something I had to talk to her about on my own. We did talk about the LA trip and Malibu again though since it was the next time we were going to see each other, and we were all obviously excited for it.

It was 9:30pm when we were done and the night was naturally wrapping itself up. Honestly, saying goodbye to Oli wasn't ever really easy, but this time it felt worse than the last. It felt like every time felt worse than the time before, maybe because I was learning to trust him again, maybe because with his new look - that I was now used to, it felt like we'd had a fresh start.

Cass and Oli said their goodbyes and he took his time saying goodbye to Ivy alone in my room. I felt sorry for him because I could only imagine how hard having to leave her was... God, I would be a complete mess just saying goodbye to her for a day, let alone weeks at a time. Once he was ready, I took him downstairs like I always did and as soon as we were in the lobby, he hugged me so tightly. I hugged him back just as much because honestly, this time I genuinely wanted him to stay. I really was looking forward to him moving to San Francisco so I didn't have to keep watching him leave.
"I hate goodbyes." I said into his shoulder.
"So do I... I hate leaving here more than anywhere else." he replied. I let him go and looked at him and he stuck out his bottom lip playfully. He was so adorable and even though I was sad, it made me smile. I saw his car pull up out the corner of my eye so without thinking, I kissed his cheek and wrapped my arms around him again. I didn't want him to go, I really didn't. I hated that it was another 4 weeks until I would see him again.

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[OLI]

Oh Willow... I hate leaving you, and you're making it even harder.

I know it was just a kiss to the cheek but... your lips... on my skin... You have no idea how much I wish I could kiss you again.

"If you don't let go of me, I won't ever leave Willow." I whispered into her hair. She had no idea what she was doing to me... how much my heart was aching, how much I wished I could just stay there holding her in my arms, feeling like she wanted me to stay with her. "I know... I'm sorry." she said as she loosened her arms from around me. "Have a safe flight back, OK?" she questioned. I just nodded. God, why was walking away from her so hard this time? It wasn't like I wouldn't see her again... it was like she was a magnet drawing me to her, almost impossible for me to break away from.

She let me go and I headed for the car. I clipped myself in and waved through the window as it pulled away from her apartment, from her, from Ivy. The heaviness in my chest felt like it was crushing me. I hated that feeling more than anything. I didn't want to leave them.

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Cass was cleaning up when I arrived back at the apartment and she came over and hugged me as soon as I was back in the room. "I can only imagine how it feels when he leaves... does it bring back bad memories from him walking away in Mexico?" she asked softly.
"No, he's apologised for that so much that I've made peace with it. I still don't like it when he leaves though." I replied.
"Aww, I get it. It must be nice having him around. You know, I'm not being weird or anything but I notice your mood change when he's here." she said. I was automatically on the defence, ready to stand up for myself. I didn't deliberately change if I changed at all. "I don't mean it in a bad way, Wills. I actually think he brings back something that you maybe lost, like you have fun with him, and you seem more carefree - maybe because you know there's someone else who can take some of the responsibility for Ivy too, like it's not all on you." she explained.
"Really?" I asked. Was she saying Oli being around was a good thing?
"Yeah, I feel like there's a bit of pre-Ivy Willow in there when he's around. He brings that out in you." she said with a shrug. Maybe she was right, maybe he did. "You're happy and you feel like yourself, right?" she asked. I was and I did, but I was a little afraid to admit it to her, or even to myself. I didn't want to focus on how good I felt when I was with him because of what it could mean. "I mean, you're really excited for LA, yeah? Hanging out with him all week? That fun, spontaneous, adventurous Willow is making a comeback." she questioned. I was. I had never really noticed it or thought about it, but she was right. I was going out again, I was doing things I used to love again... maybe he had helped me find that side of myself again.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." I replied. "Cass.." I said, knowing I had to tell her about England. It had been in the back of my mind all night, and now that she'd brought up the LA trip, I knew I had to tell her. "I have to tell you something and I really don't want you to be upset, but I'm scared you might be." I said cautiously.
"Oh gee, you've kissed him, haven't you?" she questioned. What the hell?
"What? No!" I squealed. Interesting that's the first place her mind went...
"Oh Ok. Did something happen with him then?" she asked.
"No. I mean it involves Oli but, nothing has happened." I replied. Geez, she always thought I was up to no good. "Oli asked me to go the UK with him for a couple of weeks in November, and I have said yes. He wants to introduce Ivy to his family." I blurted out, saying it in a way that made it sound less exciting, like it was more about Ivy and his family than me having fun.
"Really?" she questioned with wide eyes.
"Yeah, his family really wants to meet her and the band are playing a final show in London, so I'm going to go with him, but it's just for a couple of weeks." I explained.
"Wills, that's amazing! Why would you think I'd be upset? Jealous as fuck, for sure, but I'm so happy for you!" she quipped as she got up to hug me. "It's almost like Mexico all over again." she chuckled. God, it certainly wasn't. It wasn't anything to do with sex like Mexico was.
"No, Cass. It's absolutely nothing like Mexico." I stated sternly with wide eyes.