ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

BUILDING A BRIDGE

Things were finally feeling better in the world. Sure, my life had gone off the path I wanted to be on, I had lost myself for a while and the Father of my baby was with another woman, but at least Oli accepted Ivy and I felt like we could co-parent her in a civil way. I felt a lot calmer and better about everything, plus I loved my Daughter more than I knew I could ever love anything... she was perfect. My lawyer friend was drafting a notice to inform Jayce that he wasn't Ivy's Father... just as a precaution, and in hopes that he wouldn't ever bother me again - even if he saw me with her. I was hoping it meant all of the past with him would be behind me once and for all very soon and I could completely forget about him.

I had finally been given the green light to start exercising again and I can't deny how happy I was. I was restricted to low-impact activities like walking and yoga, but I was just excited to start trying to get back into shape. Cassidy would lie and tell you I looked amazing anyway, but I didn't feel it, and exercising would give me something to focus on in my down time anyway. I couldn't wait.

Oli messaged me after he left San Francisco. He was already back on his European tour and doing a show almost every night - I knew, because I saw the live photos in my instagram feed from the band's account, and yes, I started liking them again. He never really had anything in particular to say, I guess he probably just messaged because he wanted to check up on Ivy. 

I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help but daydream about what my life could have been like if things had of gone differently between us. Maybe I would have been travelling around Europe with him, keeping him company on his tour... maybe I'd be messing with the guys on their tour bus and massaging Oli's shoulders backstage before his show... maybe he'd smile at me between songs as I stood at the side of the stage watching on. I sighed loudly to myself because I knew I couldn't have thoughts or fantasies like that, it wasn't fair to him, to his girlfriend or to myself. I had to try and move on from the past, but I knew it would be hard now that I'd see him and speak to him all the time.

We exchanged a few, quick messages throughout the days... it was never anything deep and we never got into serious conversations; mostly he just wanted to ask how Ivy was. I would always ask where he was, how his latest show had been, what the city he was in was like... I don't think he understood how much I lived vicariously through him as he travelled around. He didn't really ever say too much but it was nice that he made a little time to speak to me and ask about Ivy – especially since he was on tour and no doubt permanently exhausted. 

Cassidy and I went on with life and in a way her routine didn't change too much, she still went to Uni and work, but she didn't go out nearly as much as she used to now that I couldn't join her. We didn't even do anything on the Fourth of July like we usually did. We had invites to parties, and I told Cass to go without me, but she insisted we stay home together and watch the fireworks on TV with Ivy. She was such a gem.

Cassidy's Birthday was only a few days away but she hadn't made any dinner or party plans despite me begging her to. I couldn't join her since I didn't have anyone to watch Ivy, but I still wanted her to celebrate. Neither of us ever skipped doing something on our Birthday and I didn't want her to miss out because of me! I was actually on my phone buying her Birthday presents when Oli called me – and I mean, actually called me. I was relieved it wasn't a video chat because I hadn't showered or changed out of my pyjamas yet, but I was still surprised he wasn't just texting me. It was the first time he'd actually called since he found out about Ivy and we all remember how that went! I wondered how he had time for a call, but I figured maybe he thought he should check in on Ivy since it had been a week since he left.

"Hi Oli, how are you?" I said as I answered his call.
"Hey Roses, I'm good, how are you?" he asked. His accent always sounded so amazing after I hadn't heard it in a while.
"I'm good too, thanks. Where are you right now?" I asked.
"We're in Warsaw, in Poland. It's nice here, been raining all day though." he said with a laugh. The pleasantries felt a little... awkward. I hated that we were already going to the topic of weather, but speaking to him as if nothing ever happened just wasn't possible.
"Ohhh... that sucks. What's the time there?" I asked, trying to work out the time difference in my head and make conversation.
"It's 6pm. I'm at the hotel but going back to the venue in about an hour for the show." he said.
"What are you up to? How's Ivy?" he asked before I could ask about the show.
"She's good, she's just sleeping next to me like usual while I order a Birthday present for Cass." I replied. He just laughed.
"Oh nice, what are you getting her?" he asked. I guess he was just asking out of politeness because I'm sure he really didn't care.
"Flowers, spa voucher, some clothes. Girly stuff." I replied in amusement. Oli laughed again and I imagined him rolling his eyes.