ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

FEELINGS

I would never forget the way he felt in that first moment he connected his body to mine. Even early on, when there was nothing intimate about what we were doing, he felt amazing.

We laid there kind of side by side with our legs intertwined, and he was thrusting slow and smooth, gently... in long, fulfilling strokes. For me, it felt better than when he went fast because I could really feel him without all of the chaos. We were face to face, kissing softly... his hands were warm as he ran them up my back, along my waist, against every area of exposed skin within his reach. I was doing the same; connecting my hands to his skin everywhere that felt right and leaving one in his hair, gently massaging the back of his head. Everything about that moment was gentle, soft, intimate... and honestly, I felt so connected to him – not just physically, but in a different way that I'd never felt before. I almost felt vulnerable, but not in a negative way, like I just had surrendered entirely to him and I wasn't thinking about anything else. It was like nothing even existed outside of him. He moved so gently, and touched me so softly... landing delicate kisses beside my mouth as I breathed and stroking my hair as he held me. I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes as we kissed, letting the lengths of his hair slide between my fingers as he rolled his hips in long, smooth motions. He never let go of me... his hands were never away from me, not even for a moment and he never took his eyes off of me as we laid there. He even smiled at me before kissing me, and rubbed his thumb across my cheek as he held my face. I don't think I'd ever had such beautiful, sensual sex before... it definitely wasn't 'fucking' like it usually was.

Our lips barely left each others'; only when I moaned and he kissed at my neck, and my hands never left his body, just like his never left mine. "Please touch me." I whispered as I kissed his cheek. He felt wonderful, but I knew I wasn't going to orgasm without that piece of the equation coming into play. He smiled at me and I gently sucked at his lips as he moved his hand around and down my body, letting his fingers rub up and down either side of my clitoris like he was hugging it with his index and middle fingers. I moaned against his lips and he kissed my cheek, giving me room to breath as he made me feel amazing. I was impressed at his level of multi-tasking between thrusting, rubbing and kissing – he did them all so perfectly, and he kind of had them in sync, keeping the same pace on the kissing and thrusting; about half the speed of his touch. My hands stayed against his skin, and I kept him pulled in close to me. I let out tiny moans and looked at him with bleary, blissful eyes as he 'fucked' me... and he kissed my lips gently over and over again. I lost all concept of time, but it didn't feel like it was very long before I started feeling the tell-tale signs of an incoming orgasm; contracting muscles, heavier breathing and a tingly kind of warmth that started spreading from where the action was happening to my fingertips and toes. I had to pull my face away from Oli's kisses so I could breath. "Oh my God." I said helplessly as those intoxicating, tingly feelings started to become more prominent. "Please don't stop." I begged softly as I kept my eyes shut so I could focus on how good he felt. Oli kissed at my neck and my cheek and maintained all of his rythym as my breathing got more desperate and I let out tiny, uncontrollable moans. I was so close. "Orgasm for me." Oli whispered as he kissed right by my ear softly. I was about to. "Oli..." I moaned without any control over my words. "Oh my God..." I gasped. At that moment, my legs tensed and I held my breath as the orgasm he created flooded my body with blissful numbness. My grip on him tightened, my toes curled and my entire body went tense against his as he kissed at my cheek; still not missing a single beat with his thrusts or his fingers rubbing against me. "Oli..." I said as I let my breath go, my body still reacting against his with little aftershocks as he continued to move.

He brought his hand back up from touching me and wrapped it around my waist to hold me tight and I finally opened my eyes; looking at him like I was in a complete daze. He smiled at me as I breathed heavily. "Feel good?" he asked with a grin. I smiled at him and nodded, though I could barely focus on him... I felt like I was drunk or dazed. I pressed my face into his neck as he kept thrusting and running his hands over every part of my bare skin. I just needed a moment to recover. I looked at him after spending half a minute with my eyes closed against him, and he just looked back at me, so I kissed him softly, about 6 times. "You're incredible." I whispered against his lips. I wasn't even talking about the sex, I mean, that was incredible, but I meant it in every other possible way. He smiled as he kissed me, and I dragged my fingertips down the side of his face gently. He squeezed me in his arms tightly and started moving faster, speeding up since I guess that's what he needed to get off, while I kept touching his hair and rubbing his back. I kissed at his cheek and neck while he moaned gently, and I touched his face – I figured it was better if my hands were up top and out of the way of what he was doing below. He held my hips and ass, and pulled me into him as he thrust forward to get even more motion, and by then he was going pretty fast. I didn't care how long he took, because I loved being so touchy-feely with him and being able to kiss him so much, plus I loved his hands being on me. 

When he came, he stopped deep inside of me and moaned loudly as his body kind of contracted. He moaned again and I kissed at his neck as he laid there motionless but tense. He moaned for a third time, then his body kind of went limp next to me on the bed. He was breathing heavily and he had his eyes shut, so I just ran my hands over his body again; along his side, up his back, into his hair and then to his face so I could hold it. I kissed his jaw and when I pulled my face away to look at him, he opened his eyes and smiled. He was obviously exhausted, but he looked happy and he took my head in his hands and kissed me deeply. I had so many feelings at that moment, and while I should have been terrified of them, I wasn't. The only thing I was terrified of was losing him, and that was inevitable.

I laid there looking at him as he held me and stroked my face, and I forgot about filtering my thoughts before I spoke. "I'm really gonna miss you." I admitted quietly. Shit. As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn't have. I knew I wasn't meant to have feelings. "I'm going to be so lonely in my bed when I get home." I added with a laugh to make the first comment sound less intense... to make it sound like I was just talking about sex. He laughed under his breath and pulled me in tighter. "You'll be alright. You'll find someone else." he replied. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to find someone else. He kissed me and excused himself to the bathroom, and I just laid there waiting for him to come back.

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[OLI]

I can't remember the last time I had sex like that...

I... I don't even know what to say. 

I know I shouldn't have liked how intimate that was, but, well... it was nice.

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As I laid there, I didn't want to think about him leaving... about me going back to San Francisco without him. I know we weren't in a relationship, but that was how it felt. He felt like a boyfriend, a boyfriend I loved deeply... so him leaving was going to feel like a break up; a break up that I didn't want to happen. I knew it wasn't like there was any chance of it being re-kindled, or coming back to life later down the track either, and that was heartbreaking.

When he came back to the bed, I told him I didn't want to go to sleep yet... I wanted to delay the inevitable goodbye for as long as possible, so he put a movie on and I laid with my head against his chest and my arms tightly around him. I never wanted to let him go and I never wanted to fall asleep because I knew when I woke up, I had to say goodbye and I wasn't ready. I never would be.