ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

FEELINGS

[OLI  - Walking home from the restaurant]

Mat slowed down and held me back from the others as we headed back to the house, and I looked at him with a frown as we slipped far enough away that they wouldn't hear us. Mat grinned at me and nudged my shoulder with this goofy grin on his face and I furrowed my brows at him. I didn't know what the hell he was doing.
"So. What's happening with you and Willow?" he asked.
"Nothing." I replied. "I mean, nothing different anyway." I added.
"You're falling for her though, aren't you?" he asked. What in the world? Where was this coming from?
"What?" I questioned. He just chuckled.
"I've seen you in love before dude, I can tell you're in deep. I see the way you look at her. Don't forget I've known you for most of your life..." he said. God damn, lol. "Have you been trying to get closer? Show her you like her?" he asked me. I guess he made me realise that I should have been trying harder...
"Not really. I don't want to come on too strong." I replied.
"Dude, stop letting fear hold you back. You lost her once because you were afraid of your feelings, don't do it again! You're fucking lucky you're even getting a second chance with her!" he said. His words were accurate; I was lucky to get a second chance, that she was even giving me the time of day. The one thing he got wrong was thinking that I was afraid of my feelings again though, because I wasn't.
"I know how lucky I am and I'm not going to fuck up again. I'm not afraid of how I feel anymore either." I replied.
"Really? You sure?" he asked with a laugh.
"Yeah, I'm positive. I'm completely in love with her and I can say it without hesitation to you or anyone who wants to hear it. Do you believe me now?" I questioned. Mat just smiled so fucking wide then stopped and hugged me out of nowhere.
"God it's so good to hear you actually admit that. It's about fucking time." he stated. "I swear, I wanted to slap you so many times when you denied it because it was so fucking obvious to me." he laughed. Honestly, I could understand his frustration. 

As he let me go he looked at me seriously. "I'm really happy for you." he said as we started walking again, now a really long way behind the others.
"Don't get too far ahead of yourself Mat, we're not together. I don't know if there's even a possibility of that happening again. I don't have a clue how she feels." I replied.
"There is." he replied straight away. "She still has feelings for you. It's definitely not as obvious as it used to be but I can see that she still loves you. Not that I know why since you've been a total dick so many times..." he said teasingly. I just groaned. I hated that he was right.
"Mmm... she doesn't love me. I hope maybe one day she might again though." I replied. "For now all I want is a chance to show her I've changed, a chance to treat her the way I should have from the start." I added. Saying that made me feel so nervous and anxious, what if she wouldn't give me another chance? What if she didn't want a romantic relationship with me? We had become close again as friends, but that was very different to love and sex and everything else... she could be completely shut off from the idea of all of that. "Well it might take some time and persistence on your part, but if you're really serious about her and can open up yourself completely to her, I think you'll be able to win your girl back." he replied. God I hoped he was right. 

"So what can I do to help operation girlfriend be successful?" he questioned. I just frowned at him. "Well you can start by never using the term 'operation girlfriend' again..." I replied. He just laughed. "Alright, well, what's your first move?" he asked. I had been thinking about how I could show her my intentions without completely freaking her out or putting pressure on her, and I had come up with what I thought was a good solution - one that gave her the option to say no and hopefully wouldn't be too awkward. "Well, she's been cuddling up to me a bit lately, so I guess I should just tell her how much I love that next time she does it." I explained. "I want to ask her on a date though, but I need to wait for the right moment." I replied.
"A date?" Mat chuckled. 
"Yeah, a real, proper date." I replied.
"I like it, what can I do to help?" he asked.
"Just wish me luck." I replied.