ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

HURT

We ended up at some weird bar with the band, which in any circumstance was super exciting, but I was suddenly thinking about what Oli had said earlier. Checking with me that I wasn't going to fall in love with him... what was that all about? The night drinking with the band started off fine, Mat was engaging us in conversation a lot and the others made small talk, but as it went on, I got the feeling that Oli was kind of avoiding me. He seemed a little distant, and I guess I didn't like it. I kind of tried to talk to him, but he always found a reason to leave or turn it into a group discussion rather than actually engaging with me. He was drinking a lot, so maybe that was part of it, or maybe it was because Cassidy was literally next to me the entire time. I wished that Mat was single so she could have devoted more of her attention to him.

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[OLI]

Ugh, I can't do this anymore. I can't be around her. She's leaving soon anyway. I have to just forget her.

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About half an hour after we arrived, I was sitting with Cassidy with the band while Oli was over in a booth with some random people. He was literally the only one from the band who had ventured out of our booth - and away from me. Mat was chatting to me about soccer, but I wasn't totally engaged in the conversation. There were four girls around Oli, who were obviously fans of the band and clearly fans of Oli... and I couldn't help but notice how slutty they all looked. I shouldn't judge, but you know the type of girls I'm talking about... hair extensions, fake lips under loads of makeup, tiny scraps of fabric covering their surgically enhanced bodies... I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that Oli was laughing and talking with them and that they were practically all over him. I know I said I knew it was nothing serious between us, but I still hated seeing him flirting with other girls. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't stop watching – it was like a car crash; you know you shouldn't look, but it's impossible not to. 
"Do you want to go?" Cassidy asked, obviously noticing it too. 
"I'm not allowed to be bothered, right?" I asked.
"Well no, but he's an asshole for flirting with them right in front of you, especially when he invited us to come out." she quipped. "They're fucking sluts anyway. Let's just leave, maybe it's time to just forget about him." she said. I guess she was right, it was supposed to be our last night following them around anyway, so maybe it had just run it's course. Maybe that was why he asked that question earlier, because he was bored of me and was ready for the next fling. I felt deflated just thinking about it, even though it shouldn't have come as a surprise... I mean, what did I really think was going to happen?

I took myself to the bathroom before we headed home and as I came out, Cassidy tried to shuffle me toward the door. She was being seriously weird, and I realised she was trying to stop me from looking toward the booth that Oli was in. "Willow, don't." she said firmly. I finally managed to see past her and knew why she was trying to stop me from looking over there. Oli was sitting there, two of the girls were practically in his lap, and one of them had her tongue down his throat. He didn't exactly look like he was hating it either. My heart sank. "Come on..." Cassidy said, dragging me away. I pulled my arm away from her so I could quickly go and say 'bye' to the others.. they'd been nothing but nice to me all night, and I was really happy to have met them all. I told them it was nice to meet them, though they were obviously kind of uncomfortable about the whole situation that had unfolded. Mat got out up and made a joke as he hugged me, but I didn't laugh. As I headed back to Cassidy I couldn't resist looking at Oli again - now sitting with his arms around a girl on either side of him, completely oblivious to me even being in the room. "He's a fucking asshole. I hope he gets an STD." Cassidy said, pushing me toward the exit. I didn't say anything, I didn't try to resist, I just went outside and into a taxi with her. 

"Willow... I'm sorry you had to see that." she said, grabbing my hand.
"It's fine. I knew I meant nothing to him." I said quietly. I did mostly believe that, but it still fucking hurt.
"I know, but you still liked him... of course you did." she said. I just shrugged and brushed it off and stared out the window the entire way back to the motel feeling emotionless. I took the bunch of roses he'd sent me to the lady in reception; I didn't want them in the room anymore, and we were leaving in the morning anyway. I went and hopped in the shower and that's when I got upset. I didn't want to, and I tried to pretend I didn't care, but I started crying as the water hit my face. I stood there for a while just holding myself, feeling stupid, used and naive for letting myself feel anything for a rock star. I knew how dangerous it was to get close to him when it was only ever going to be a fling, and even though I'd never played up the situation to myself, like thinking he was going to feel something for me, of course I'd still caught feelings for him. "Willow?" Cassidy said, entering the bathroom. "Are you OK?" she asked. I didn't want her to know I was crying, she warned me not to fall in love with him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied.
"I'm sorry Wills. I was actually starting to think he cared about you." she admitted. "I don't understand why he would invite us out if he was planning on hooking up with other girls..." she added. Hearing her say that made me upset, and I started crying again. "Oh, Willow... Please don't cry over him." she pleaded. 

I told her everything Oli had said to me in the hallway before the show, about me being dangerous to him, and checking if I was going to fall in love - and the way he'd kissed me. She was as confused as I was.
"I know it's stupid, but I thought maybe he cared about me, Cass." I admitted. "Even if it was just a little bit." I said in complete defeat. "But he obviously didn't since he fucked me after the show, then hooked up with other girls in front of me 2 hours later." I stated, realising how much he used me. "I don't care that he was hooking up with other people, but in front of me? Straight after he fucked me? I feel so worthless." I admitted. 
"Nooo... you're amazing. Trust me, any guy in the world would pick you over those girls! You're beautiful, and smart and real. You're an absolute diamond, and he's just a fuckhead if he'd rather have cheap, trashy glass." she said, trying to console me.
"Why didn't he just wait until we were gone and he'd never have to see me again though?" I asked hypothetically.
"Because he's a selfish prick. He might be famous, but he didn't deserve you anyway. You're way too good for a slut like him." Cassidy said trying to make me feel better. "Come out soon so I can give you a big hug." she said as she headed back out to the room. I finished up and went out and sat on my bed in my towel.

"I'm sorry Willow, I never want to see you upset but I guess it was inevitable that it was going to end badly eventually. He was an asshole tonight, but it was just a fling, so it couldn't have ended happily anyway." she said softly. I guess she was right, but it didn't make it feel any less degrading.
"It was fun while it lasted. I just want to go to sleep and forget about it." I admitted. Thinking about him sleeping with those skanky girls just made me feel sad. I got into my pajamas and climbed into my bed without even looking at my phone, and Cassidy came and spooned me. "You don't need him when you have me anyway." she said as she squeezed me. I put my arms around hers and thanked her for being such a good friend.

Cassidy fell asleep; still spooning me, but I struggled because my brain refused to stop imagining where Oli was and what he was doing with those girls. I hated that they were where I thought I'd be tonight... that they'd just replaced me between his sheets. I tried to think of anything that wasn't related to him, but it was almost impossible. I eventually fell asleep though, and luckily, I didn't dream about him.

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[OLI]

What have I done? I don't even fucking want this. What am I thinking?!

These sluts can just fuck right off. Get out of my room and get the fuck away from me! 

Eugh, I have completely fucked up everything. 

Oli, you're a fucking idiot.