ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

ALL IN A NAME

A couple of days passed before Oli and I spoke again, but he said he'd been really exhausted so waited to video call me on his day off. I liked it when he video called me, even though I knew I shouldn't.

We started our conversation with the usual questions like how Ivy was, where he was in the world, but today was different because he was in Italy. Italy; somewhere I had researched so much about when planning my dream trip to Venice while I was pregnant and not expecting to keep Ivy. I was instantly envious. "If you tell me you're in Venice, I'm actually going to cry." I said without really thinking. Oli laughed and told me he was in Milan, but I was still jealous. He asked me what my fascination with Venice was and I rambled way too much but he just laughed and listened, probably thinking I was crazy. "Well, you'll be glad to know we're not going there on the tour, but if you have any suggestions for here I have the whole day free." he said. It was the morning there and night time in San Francisco, so I thought about the things I'd always made notes about seeing. "Well, you could go and see Da Vinci's 'last supper' at a monastery, or there's an amazing gothic cathedral where you can go up on the roof... there's a really cool old library there too but I forget it's name. Oli started laughing at me. "You know this off the top of your head?" he questioned.
"Uhhh yeah, Italy's my dream destination, I did a lot of research while I was pregnant and bored." I admitted. I didn't want to tell him it was because I thought I would be giving Ivy up for adoption and was going to travel afterward... I didn't even really like to think that I ever considered that an option anymore. 

I wondered why Oli had actually video called me since he hadn't before, maybe it was just to check in, but I got the feeling that he wanted to discuss something. It took a lot of talking about other things until he brought up what I'm sure was the main point of his call. He wanted to talk about some legal stuff and I guess it scared me a little. I didn't like talking about serious things with him, or really anyone, even though I knew I couldn't avoid them forever. He told me he'd had legal documents drafted in regards to child support, that he wanted me to read over it and let him know if I wanted anything else included, more money or benefits, that sort of thing. I felt so uncomfortable talking about it with him. Honestly, I wished I was in a place where I could tell him I didn't want a cent, but the truth was I didn't know if I'd ever have a career now... I didn't know what my future held, and the money I did have in savings couldn't support me forever, so I couldn't really reject his offer. 

He also asked me how I felt about Ivy having his surname, well one of those hypenated ones anyway... he said we could talk about it in person, but he just wanted me to have a think about it because he really wanted to be responsible for her. He also asked about being legally added to her birth certificate, mainly so that if anything happened to him, she would legally be his next of kin and get everything. Forgetting the legal and financial ramifications of all of that, I loved the idea of her having his name and him being on her birth certificate, but I needed to speak to my legal friend about it first. I didn't want to do something that meant if things went sour between us that he could take her away from me. I wished I trusted him completely and didn't think he would be possible of that, but Ivy was too important for me to fully trust anyone.

Oli promised me he would never try to take her away or in his terms: 'fuck me over', but I needed to be sure I was protecting Ivy and myself. 
"I don't want to stress you out or overwhelm you or anything like that Willow, you don't have to think about it yet and there's no rush to do anything, I just wanted to bring it up. I guess I just want to be responsible and to support her - and you. I love her and I guess I just want her to officially be mine, well I mean, ours." he said with a shy kind of smile. He seemed really genuine, and as much as it was an uncomfortable topic, it was good that he was forcing me to deal with those things... I hated stuff like that so would have avoided it if I could have.

"While we're talking about legal stuff, I uh, I got my lawyer friend who dealt with the restraining order and stuff to draft a notice to send to Jayce, with the paternity results, so he knows he's not Ivy's Father. Don't worry though, they blur out your name on it... She said it would just hopefully bring the potential for any more shit with him to an end and give me some closure. It's a good thing I guess, but I don't know, I hope it doesn't just stir things up again." I explained. Oli was looking at me with a concerned kind of frown as I told him about the notice. He looked kind of uncomfortable.
"Mmmmm... can you wait until I'm there to send it?" he questioned. I had no idea why.
"Why?" I asked with a curious frown.
"He threatened you and tried to hurt you, Willow. I'd feel better if I was there with you when he gets it." he replied. It seemed like he was being protective... "I just don't like the idea of you being alone when he finds out, you know, in case he's pissed off or something." he added.
"Trust me, I've dealt with him before. I'll be fine." I replied. Oli just looked at me with  furrowed brows. "Willow... if anything happened to you or Ivy..." he said trailing off with a frown.
"OK, I'll ask her to delay it a couple of weeks." I said. He was just being protective and I wanted to respect his wishes since it involved Ivy too. It was no big deal to me anyway.
"Thank you." he said with a smile.

Our conversation had been so serious and intense, I was happy when he changed the subject to something much lighter. "So in other news, I designed some things and I'm getting them made for Ivy." he said with a beaming smile. "You did?" I asked. "What sort of things?" I asked with confusion.
"Just clothes, Drop Dead stuff... mini Drop Dead stuff, it's extremely cute." he gushed. He looked so proud of himself, and it made my heart happy. "We didn't have pink fabric, so it'll be mostly grey or black. I'm totally going to match with her." he laughed. Fuck, my heart. His dopey smile when he said he was going to match with Ivy hit me somewhere deep inside. He could be so cute when he wanted to be.
"Aww, you want to match with her?" I asked. He just nodded. It was amazing how much he seemed to love Ivy considering he said he didn't want kids... he doted on her like the most proud Father.
"They should be done in a couple of weeks. I'll get them to ship you some stuff in the same design too, we can literally all match like one of those embarrassing families." he laughed. "You're an extra small in shirts and stuff yeah?" he asked. I felt like shit when he asked me that. I never wanted to admit it, but my body wasn't the same as it used to be. I'd started doing some low-impact stretching and things to work on it, but I was so tired that I didn't do it as much as I should. I definitely still had some baby weight.
"Uhh, probably more like Medium now... I wish I was still that size." I said. Oli frowned at me through his screen. "Don't do that Roses, you literally just had a baby and you still look amazing. I won't listen to you say otherwise." he stated. His words took me by surprise, but damn they made me feel good, even if I didn't really believe him. 
"I'll send extra small, small and a medium just to cover all bases." he said with a smile.

Oli took me - via his phone - to breakfast and I got to say 'hi' to all of the guys again. I saw all of them; Jordan, Matt, Lee, and of course Mat, who I had kind of become friends with last year. They all waved and said hello, asked how I was, congratulated me on Ivy... they were all friendly and actually almost seemed kind of happy to see me, but Mat definitely was. He took Oli's phone and beamed at me as he asked how I was, how Ivy was, that kind of thing. It made me remember how much I liked him and his vibrant, jokester personality. I hoped I'd get to see him again one day! It was so strange to be on a video call with him... I guess I didn't see Oli so much as the guy from a band like I did at the start now, but I still saw the others that way, and I almost felt a little star struck. After chatting with the guys briefly, Oli said he had better eat and that he'd text me later. Oh, and he thanked me for the recommendations on how to spend his free time in Milan.

After my video call with Oli ended, I realised how easy it had just been to talk with him, how I hadn't felt awkward or filtered like I sometimes had. It felt normal, at least on my side anyway. I liked that he was being open but it did frighten me a little, Cassidy had warned me about getting attached or feeling something... I didn't, but I wondered if I could. Could I end up having feelings for him again after what he did to me? After all of the bullshit I went through because of him? I would like to think that wasn't possible, but Oli was so fucking charming when he was being the way he was just now; talking about Ivy like she was the light of his life, being protective of me and being so silly and carefree. I hoped I wasn't going to slip back into feeling or wanting something I shouldn't. Deep down I knew it was pointless anyway since he belonged to someone else. I couldn't have him even if I wanted to.