ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF...

Being cuddled up with Oli felt so good, I couldn't deny that. The last time I was in Malibu it was exactly what I dreamed of; being alone with him, in bed... having his arms around me. It made me happy, comfortable... it made me feel things I tried to ignore. "You know... I'm really happy." he said, almost as if he was reading my thoughts.
"Yeah?" I questioned as I pulled my head back from his chest so I could look at him. He smiled so sweetly, but almost like he was a little shy. "Yeah... I know I haven't always been the happiest person in the world, but honestly, I don't think I've ever felt as happy as I do now. Things are just really good." he smiled. That made me happy.
"It makes me really happy to hear you say that. I'm happy you're happy." I said softly. I genuinely was. I knew he'd suffered from lots of things over the years, and even last year he'd opened up to me about his self-loathing and lack of purpose in life. "I hope you don't think it's selfish of me to say this, because I know you're the one who had to take all of the burden of everything, but I'm really thankful that everything that happened, happened." he admitted. "I know I said I didn't want kids, and I know I totally lost my shit when you told me about Ivy, but... I honestly love her so much. She gives me so much purpose and makes me so happy – you do too. You know when I'm on tour, I look forward to getting back to the hotel and calling you..." he admitted with a small laugh. "You and Ivy are everything to me, I can't even remember what life was like before all of this anymore." he said. His words were so sweet and my heart was melting... I could feel it giving in and wanting to fall head over heels for him again. He made me feel like it was possible.

I was surprised that he'd just been so honest, saying that I made him happy, that Ivy and I were everything to him, that he looked forward to talking to me. I always felt like the things he said were about Ivy, but tonight he made it clear he meant all of those nice things about me too and it made my walls come crumbling down. I couldn't stop my heart from thumping hard in my chest, my hands from feeling clammy... I could feel myself getting weak and vulnerable around him; opening up and taking down the emotional roadblocks. It was impossible to ignore how he was making me feel, it was also impossible to ignore his lips when he spoke such beautiful things; how they moved and curled into a smile so close to my face so many times. The pull toward him had been growing stronger and stronger, but it suddenly felt like I was right there, that I had actually arrived. At the same time, I had an extremely strong urge to kiss him, and the way he was just looking at me made it almost impossible to resist. For the first time in a really long time, everything aligned and I stopped doubting myself. I wasn't afraid of what I wanted.

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[OLI]

I have never wanted to kiss someone as much as I do right now, and I think she feels it too.

I really wanted to hold back and let her be the one to make a move, so it'd be her decision but... I can't not take this chance. I have to go for it and hope she's feeling how I am right now; like I want her more than I've ever wanted anything. 

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"Willow... what would you say if I told you I wanted to kiss you?" he asked so softly, almost in a whisper as he stared into my eyes. I remembered those words, he'd asked to kiss me in the exact same way when I arrived in Acapulco all that time ago. He hadn't been so nervous or unsure last time, but in a way, that made it sweeter now. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach and my entire body felt like it was numb because I wanted him to kiss me. If I was honest with myself, I wanted to kiss him just as much. I don't know why his reference to Mexico affected me so intensely, but it made me remember how I felt back then, how happy I was, how much I adored him... I remembered my response to this question back in Acapulco too, so after just a moment, I gave him my reply.
"I would say that... you should." I replied as quietly as he'd asked. My reply came straight from my heart. His eyes lit up and his lips curled into a smile; probably appreciating that my reply was the same as it was the first time he asked me that question. That or maybe he just didn't think I would say yes.