Harry Potter One Shots

Don't Mess With Me!

A/N: yes, if you were wondering, the last chapter was a reference to a Taylor swift song. I'm making my goal to get as many references in before I finish these one shots, which won't be for awhile. So, prepare to be mesmerized by references. See if you can spot then all. Good luck! Also, I shall be making an appearance in this. You'll notice.

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"She's as stuck up as Donna Nobles. I mean, Gah! She keeps writing these bloody one shots! Why does she ship me and her brother so much?" Harry exclaimed as they walked to the great hall.

"Harry, I ship people all the time. And I have to agree with her, if you were gay, you'd make a great couple." Hermione said.

"She shipped you with Draco a couple times." Harry tried to get through to her.

"So? She hated writing it. God, stop being such a drama queen. Also, you might want to cut your hair Mr Sam Winchester." Hermione snorts.

"I do not understand these references." Ron said dumbly as he stood behind his two friends.

"It's okay Ron." Harry smiled. The trio walked to the great hall, only to be stopped by Lucifer herself. *cough* Savannah. Her platinum blond hair falling freely past her waist, her silver eyes staring into their souls, well, except Ron, everyone knows gingers have no souls. Her pale skin glittering like that fucking vampire from twilight, but only for a moment.

"I heard my name and I came. Like Castiel in the first few seasons he was in before he lost his grace." Savannah smirked. It was the kind of smirk that could send shivers down your spine and give you nightmares for weeks.

"Hey Savannah. I love your one shots. Especially your most recent one. You have to stop in taking so much sugar." Hermione laughed.

"Well, I sold my soul to the devil to write like that. No, literally, I'm not joking. I have no soul, just like the ginger." She laughed, her biting her lip for a split second.

"I have one question Russia," Harry began as he started at her. "Why do you ship me and your brother so much?" Harry questions.

"Because I can? Also, it's basically cannon! Well, almost. There's one problem," Savannah grabbed Harry's shoulders and shook them. "YOU CAN'T JUST ADMIT YOUR BI!!!!" She screamed in his face, causing them all to flinch.

"What?" Harry asked in shock.

"I can see into your brains. I'm a fucking angel of the lord who happened to make a deal with satan, but oh well! Draco has no sister, I just did what Hera did to Piper and Leo and filled false memories into everyone's brains. I'm not even a witch! I'm just here on orders." Savannah said.

"Wait, hold up, you're not a witch?" Ron asked. Savannah rolled her eyes.

"No shit Sherlock, when have any of you seen me do magic?" She questions with an unattractive pig snort which kinda sounded like a warthog.

"Never, now that we think about it. And, wait, Harry's Bi?" Hermione asks.

"Honey, he's so far back in the closet that he met Sam and Dean Winchester hanging with Castiel Novak chilling in Narnia and the entire fucking Hetalia cast." Savannah laughed.

"Are you Pikachu? Because you're giving us a shock." Ron said.

"Shut up will you?" Harry exclaimed. Ron shrugged.

"Now, I know you want to tell people that I'm not a witch, but you aren't going to do that or I'll have to use the mother fucking Force on you. Okay?" Savannah said firmly.

"Okay." They replied.

"Good. Also, if you don't give Draco a chance, I will lock you both in a room until you get together. Bye!" Savannah walked into the great hall and sat next to Draco at the Slytherin table.

"No wonder she choose Slytherin. She's literally the devil." Ron muttered.

"Maybe she's a fallen angel?" Hermione suggested.

"No. She's not. I have a feeling she's not. Let's just go sit down." Harry says.

"Are you going to ask Draco out?" Hermione questions.

"I'll ask Draco out when you date Ron." Harry says.

"Hermione, want to go out sometime?" Ron asks.

"I'd love too." Hermione smiled.

"Fuck you both." Harry muttered.

"Go get him tiger."

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A/N: there should be Matt Smith number of references.

Now there should be Peter Capaldi, number of references.

Get it? Get it? With the two I just added, there should be 13 references. I'm sorry this chapter was all over the place, but I'm sleepy, I'm having a sugar crash, so, night night.