Natasha/Scarlett one shot

Attempt N.R

TW warning: attempted suicide (minor)
Even though my writing is pretty bad, I feel like I should put a warning? 

Your POV
The team was getting ready to go for team building activity hosted by the one and only Tony Stark. Everyone was getting ready, packing the things needed to go to the beach, sun screen, towels, water etc. I was the only one lying in my bed not excited to go anywhere.

"Come onnnnnn." Wanda was still in my room trying to persuade me to go. "Even though Nat is not here doesn't mean you don't have to go." Nat is currently on a mission and is not set to be back until the end of the week.

"Who's not here?" I heard Nat's voice coming.

"Nat!" Wanda greets Natasha. They have a very close platonic relationship even before I joined the Avengers.

"Why is Wanda more excited to meet me than my girlfriend." Seeing how I haven't left the bed to hug her which I do each time she comes back.

"She's just sulking. She doesn't want to go to the team building activity at the beach that Tony had planned." Wanda explained.

I rolled my eyes and continued scrolling through my phone. Nat went to the shower to wash off the dirt and grim from her body before getting to bed with me. "You are not going to go to the event?"

I sighed and put down my phone before facing her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Nat gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. "Don't avoid my question. Why are you not going?" She repeated.

"You don't seem like the type of person who goes to this kind of event too." I replied. 

Natasha POV
I know that Y/N is avoiding my question. She knows that I know. I just don't understand why she is resisting so much. She usually has no problem with this kind of event. "It's not about me now."

"If it was in any other place, I would go, no problem. Just not the beach." She replied and yawned.

"No closing your eyes missy." I know she was trying to end the conversation and dragging this out so by the time she wakes up, she wouldn't have to go to the event. "Do you not like the beach?"

She sighed again, but this time, turning away from me. I wasn't sure if she was angry at me or ignoring me but I wasn't going to allow it to escalate that far. I pulled her closer to me and placed my chin on her shoulder. "Baby?"

"... It's not so much the beach that I don't like. It's the sea." She said softly.  

"The sea?" I repeated. "What's wrong with it baby?" I was shocked when Y/N turned to face me again. She was on the verge of tears.

"Please don't ask me again..." She shook her head.

"Okay. Okay." I stopped probing. I could see she was really uncomfortable sharing any further. "We are not going. Let me tell Tony."

Nat:
Y/N and I are not going.

Stark:
What? Why?

Nat:
Y/N doesn't like the sea.

Stark:
What kind of excuse is that?

Nat:
We are not going. End of story.

I put down my phone and continued hugging Y/N. I looked down to see her sleeping. She must be so stressed with Wanda and I kept on persuading her to go. I wondered what happened that made her hate the sea so much.

Your POV
Over the next few days, I hardly came out of the room. I wasn't doing anything. Each time Nat was doing her paperwork in her office, I would be on the balcony smoking. Well, not really. I would just watch it burn. I like seeing the red glow on the stick when the wind blows. Before Nat comes back, I would spray some freshener to hide the smell and change my clothes. Technically I didn't do anything wrong but I know she hates it.

Natasha POV
Y/N has been really distant these few days, staying in the room the majority of the time. She has been eating less and less as well. Now she totally skips breakfast and only eats ¼ of her usual portion. I was getting worried since it was not healthy for her so I decided to finish work early and head back to our room to talk, she can't continue like this.

I walked into our room to see her on the balcony. She likes to sit there to unwind especially after a long mission and I was getting more worried, she definitely has something on her mind. As I got closer, I could see she had a cigarette in her hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" I shouted and snatched the cigarette off her, she knew I hated anyone who smokes.

Her head snapped towards me. "Babe! You ended work early?"

"You have been smoking all this time when I am working?" I didn't know she smokes and I was mad that she was hiding this from me. She tried to come closer to me but I extended my arm out to stop her from reaching me.

"I'm just trying to prove to you that I didn't smoke." She said while pushing down my arm and pulled me closer to her.

"What-" Her lips smashed onto mine and I didn't taste any nicotine. Y/N tried to continue the kiss but I pushed her away. "Okay, so you didn't smoke. But why do you have cigarette?" She took the cigarette off my hand and put it out before pulling me to our bed. She made me sit down before changing her clothes.

"Are you ready to speak now?" I see pacing around the room rubbing her hands.

"I just- I don't know where to start." I pulled her to sit down with me instead of walking around.

"I love watching things burn, especially the red glow at the end of the stick, turning grey when covered by the ashes, but as soon as the wind blows, the light rises again."

I could sense she was not done so I gave her a light smile while rubbing her arms. She took a while to gather her thoughts before continuing again. 

"I- I once jumped off the bridge but it didn't work... Just seeing large bodies of water reminds me of the failed attempt that's why I didn't want to go to the event. Sorry." I put her head on my shoulder as she let a few tears out. "The cigarette helps me focus on one thing. I promise you I don't smoke."

"I believe you. I'll tell Tony or Steve no more water activities." I kissed her forehead and patted her shoulder. We spent the remainder of the day doing nothing but cuddles. She may not fully be back to normal, but I was not going to lose her. 

Written on 17/9/2021
Posted on 21/10/2021

Also, this book hit 1k! Thanks guys.

Additionally, I put my mom's caller ID as Romanoff so whenever she calls, my phone would say 'Romanoff' like JARVIS (I use iphone). Is it overkill?