Inferno Part 3

~128~ Snowball Fight

Josie's POV

I'm getting better. Every day, every hour, I'm getting just a touch better. I'm still not perfect, or even good, but Mason and Sasha have never left my side.

There are days where it's so hard, I have trouble getting out of bed. On those days, one or both of them will climb in bed with me and hold me—It helps.

Running into Aiden is the hardest. He acts like I don't exist—like he's never spoken with me before. That part is excruciating. I was completely and irrevocably in love with him, and he discarded me like garbage. Like trash.

He's dating someone else now. Someone gorgeous, and bubbly. I wonder if he treats her the same. If he gets her pregnant, I wonder if he will stay with her.

Was it only me he would abandon?

These are the thoughts I have to fight daily. The thoughts that consume me and tear me down. Dylan still knows none of it. Boot camp has been so hard on him, that Mason refuses to add more to his plate; I agree with him. He's only gotten to FaceTime us just a few times, and he just looks so tired. He's made a lot of friends though. Brothers, as he calls them—He seems happy.

I'm not happy, but I'm not begging for death anymore. Maybe the right word for me is fighting. I'm fighting to change. I'm fighting to be happy.

I go to therapy almost every day. After my first session, Nancy told Mason that she recommended extensive therapy for me.

She saw how broken I am.

The night I got home from my first session, I heard Mason sobbing in their bedroom. I stood outside the door and listened. He said it was all his fault. If he would have gotten us out of mom and dads sooner, dad wouldn't have destroyed me.

He's wrong. I was destroyed the day Mason left. Once he left, dad became horrible. I can't even think about most of that time, so I don't.

I had to leave after a few moments of listening to Mason sob. Sasha was trying to calm him down, but it wasn't working. It's hard listening to a grown man cry like that. It's hard listening to anyone cry like that.

~*~

It's Saturday, and I go downstairs for a late breakfast. When I get down, Mason and Sasha are both at the table, grading.

"Man I can't wait to find out what this baby is," she grins as she marks up someone's poor English paper.

Mason looks up at her and grabs her hand, kissing her cheek. "You wanting a girl?"

She nods. "So bad"

They see me walk in, and smile at me. "Morning Jos," Mason says gently.

"Morning," I say as I go to the fridge and pour some orange juice.

Mason clears his throat nervously. "You got some mail."

I rush over to the counter, excited. When Dylan writes to me, it makes the hard days so much better. I miss him so much, it physically hurts.

As soon as I see it, my heart sinks. It's not from Dylan—It's from Juilliard.

I stare at the envelope in my hand, not wanting anything to do with it. I don't want to go anymore. I don't know what I want to do, but moving to New York and dancing isn't it.

"You gonna open it?" Sasha asks gently.

"You can," I say as I hand it to her and continue drinking my juice.

She opens it up, reads it for a moment, and smiles big.

"Josie, you got accepted to audition!"

Dang it