Inferno Part 3

~131~ I'll Always Pick You First

Zoe's POV

I hear dad come in my room again, and I have my head under the covers. He silently slips under the blankets, and pulls them back over so our heads are covered. He rests his cheek on my shoulder, and holds my hand silently for a minute.

"Sorry," I sniff as I get even closer to him.

"For what?"

"Being a loser"

He flips the covers off of our heads and sits up, looking at me hard. "What does that even mean?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry for being a loser—What the hell are you talking about?

I start crying again, and his eyes soften as he brings me in and holds me. "Who gets to determine if people are losers or not?" He asks, his tone soft and gentle.

I pull away and take off my glasses, wiping my eyes again. "These things don't help," I mutter.

"A tool to help you see?"

"Yeah. I'm a nerd."

"So, baseball players wear gloves to help them catch. I guess they're nerds too, huh?"

"Dad, stop. You didn't pick on people with glasses when you were a kid?"

He shakes his head. "I don't remember ever paying attention. I picked on my sister, and beat up people who made me mad."

"I'm weird. I'm the weird science girl, who hides when a ball comes her direction...I'm a loser."

He nods. "Zo, would you walk up to someone and call them a loser?"

"No," I say, putting my glasses back on and pulling the covers around me even tighter.

"Why?"

"Cause that's mean."

He nods again. "So why would you call yourself that? If you wouldn't call someone else a loser, what business do you have calling yourself one?"

"It's true"

"You're smart, Zoe. How's come you never call yourself smart?"

"People don't care if you're smart. They just care how you look....Look at me."

"I am"

"Ok then—You see that I'm a nerd."

He shakes his head. "I see a beautiful girl who's perfect just the way she is."

"Stop lying to make me feel better."

"I don't lie, Zoe. You're beautiful. On the inside and out. Quit tearing yourself down...I mean that."

"If you had your pick of foster kids, you never would've picked someone like me....You would have picked some sporty kid like Nolan or Gabby."

He looks at me for a minute, and then clears his throat. "Maybe that would've been my first thought, I'll give you that. Sports are what I relate to.....I promise that I would ALWAYS pick you, girly. You're my daughter. Not a nerd....Not a loser....My amazingly kind and beautifully smart daughter. A daughter who is starting self-defense classes with me or Emma, so you can knock Corinne on her ass yourself next time."

"I don't want to do that."

He shrugs. "That you don't have a choice on. You HAVE to know how to defend yourself. You and Ethan are both going to start, end of discussion."

"Nobody else has to," I argue.

"I've tried to get all the grownups to make their kids learn. I can say it till I'm blue in the face, but it's their decision on whether or not they do it. Josie took some classes, and she's decent. Colton is ok. You and Ethan don't have a choice. You are starting next week."