Ohana Reviews

Review- Crimson Monarch

Reviewer- kinalhariya

Book- Crimson Monarch

Author- Starfall_Dreamer

[Review might contain spoilers of the story]

Blurb:

A well written blurb indeed. We can easily understand the basic concept of the story and what to expect from it. There are great reasons for Casey to take revenge. But how…this is the main question...first she is definitely less powerful and not to forget the hints that are provided in the blurb of them being soulmates(a guess). I am also intrigued to know about the secret that he knows.

In short, it's a great description to attract the right readers for your story. 

Moving towards the chapters,

Great opening. It sets the tone with the repetitive style used for the effect.

I like that flashbacks are given showcasing her family. It would have been difficult for the readers to connect and sympathize with their deaths, without those flashbacks.

Awesome dialogue: Do not accuse me of killing one of yours when you have killed hundreds of mine.

Even though it was written in the blurb that her brothers were dead, I was really heartbroken when Casey found it out from other prisoners. The emotions are shown beautifully, especially the time when she tried to not break down in front of the guards.

I have read a few vampire books but a Dhampir is something I read for the first time. Great twist to the story. I had been assuming that she would be his soulmate but I never imagined for her to be a half vampire. I would love to see if she has some similar characteristics as vampires and what is different.

Not having any weakness by being half-human and half-vampire seems promising.

At first I thought a chapter of another book was added when I read werewolves, but fortunately I understood by the end of the chapter.

*****

Characterization is done perfectly. Even the characters with the smallest screen space made me feel something for them. The new entries seem interesting too. Looking forward to seeing if Casey will join them for her revenge or if her heart will change.

World building.

It is good. The cruel world is nicely described. However, it doesn't create goosebumps which can be possible with more descriptions. Right now, most of the things are in words rather than actions. It is still interesting to read but it has the potential to become more graphic.

Plot is awesome. Story moves at a perfect pace, always keeping us on edge to see what will happen next. There are a lot of interesting facts in the story that I enjoyed. I loved the punch lines and dialogues. Some of them were really powerful, they directly hit the heart.

Grammar:

There were some punctuation errors, otherwise the book was well written.

Punctuation errors:

Some commas are outside the quotation marks while some are inside. 

Comma used instead of question mark.

Suggestion:

1)There is always a change in paragraph within a sentence. Sometimes they are effective and sometimes they aren't. I would suggest that if a single thing/ continuation topic is talked about then put it in a single paragraph. 

2) After Mia's death, it was written that her eyes which were once full of life now stared at me with emptiness. Usually, these types of sentences fit, but the situation in this story was different. Because Casey never saw that. She met Mia when she was already broken down, her eyes showed hopelessness. So they were never full of life.

Last words,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. It was so interesting that I read it in one go. The concept, characters, dialogues, emotions; everything is well portrayed. Apart from some minor errors, the story is well written. 

Ps: I loved the title. It is unique and really suits the story.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing.