Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Cod 8: UNVEILED

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Cod 8: UNVEILED

Author: @miebimiebai

Title and Cover: The title sounds like a science fiction title, as it gives the suggestion of robots. My one suggestion–or question: did you mean 'Code' or is 'Cod' a new term readers are unfamiliar with? I would be careful with this, as it reads as a typo–if it's a new term or acronym I'd consider writing it as: COD or C.O.D.

The cover image is perfect for the story premise. It's suited for the genre and looks futuristic. I would consider finding a more futuristic looking font to match! Also, for the header: sci-fi Novel, I would either capitalize 'Sci-Fi' or lowercase 'novel.'

Blurb: The information provided in the blurb is great–concise and to the point. Just a bit of editing is needed. For instance, a comma should be placed after artificial intelligence in the first sentence. In sentence two, 'succeed' should be 'succeeded.' Then, the last two sentences should be on the same line (I'm unsure why they are separated, maybe a Wattpad thing).

Plot Overview: The story was off to a bit of a slow start. After reading the first five chapters, the only plot offered was the doctor programming his robot. It's interesting to learn how the robot was created, but I'm missing some more background information.

I'd love more information about Dr. John. Does he have any family? Roughly how old is he? Does he have any friends or colleagues to bounce ideas off of? Or is Cod 8 his only friend? These things could make readers more invested in the story, because if we don't understand the characters we're reading about, why would we care what they're up to?

My other suggestion would be to dive into research about plot structure. At this point, five chapters in, you're still setting up your story. At some point soon, the inciting incident should hit, but it hasn't yet. This incident is what sets your story into motion–it's what keeps your readers invested in learning more.

If it takes too long to get to the inciting incident, that suggests you've started your story in the wrong place. Maybe we have too much background information and need to fast forward to get to the meat of the story sooner.

Pacing: The pacing is interesting, so far. I say this because in some ways, there hasn't been a lot of action, but individual scenes seem to be moving too quickly. It's as if each scene could have been more fleshed out–more narrative elements to describe the scenery or the robot's appearance/movements/sounds. These things could have made the scenes more dynamic and helped slow down the pacing.

Style and Flow: The main thing I noticed was that you switched from third person POV to first person POV. In chapter one, you referred to the doctor as 'he' but then referred to him as 'I.' This was jarring to read and took me out of the story. I'd recommend picking one POV style and sticking to it throughout the entire story.

One other thing, your chapters are quite short! For Wattpad, shorter chapters do well, but even then, I'd suggest keeping them between 1000-2000 words. This might be why your plot felt unexciting because, while I read five chapters, the material in those five chapters could have been condensed into two.

But I really enjoy your writing style. It's concise and straight-forward. It's breezy to read and I fully understood every scene or concept you presented.

Characters: As I mentioned before, we don't know much about the doctor's background. I'd love to know more! Maybe offer a scene where he's off the clock, so we could see what his homelife, without the robot, looks like. Perhaps this could offer insight into why he created the robot. Was he lonely? Or perhaps unhappy with his current life? Just some ideas!

I would also suggest introducing at least one other character by chapter five. It would be interesting to see how the doctor interacts with others, outside of his robot. Again, it could offer insight to his character. Is he socially awkward? Is he evil or manipulative? Is he respected by others in his work or is he some kind of disgruntled employee?

Grammar/Spelling: There is some random capitalization throughout, but with a bit of editing this could be easily fixed. The other thing I noticed was errors in regard to punctuating dialogue. For instance, sometimes, when dialogue ended in a question mark, you would add an extra period afterward–that's unnecessary. I'd recommend seeking out more resources online about proper grammar usage relating to dialogue, though for most readers, these errors won't detract from their reading experience.

Final thoughts: It's clear you've spent a considerable amount of time researching robots and the ethics/laws surrounding them, so I trust you to write an intelligent story on the matter. I would only suggest fleshing out each scene and making sure each one is dynamic and interesting. Other than that, you're an excellent writer! You convey your thoughts clearly without confusion, and I'd be interested in seeing where things go! (: