Ohana Reviews

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰: 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞

Reviewer: imogenogucci01
Book title: Femme Fatale
Author: JessieCailyn

Title: 10/10
The title of the book is amazing, I think it suits the story based on the available chapters, it makes me want to read the book.

Cover: 5/10
I feel very 'meh' about it. I get that the book is about murder but the cover and the name of the book do not match. When I read the title I think "sexy, sultry and decadence" but the cover gives me non of that. I suggest you change the cover and mix up the fonts a little. 'Femme' can be written in a cursive-style font and fatale can remain with the current font. Also make your name bolder, I can barely see it on the current cover.

Description/ blurb: 3/5
The description is good but it needs more editing, there is a lot if redundancy and some words and whole sentences need to be swapped out for more suitable ones but don't change the entirety of the blurb.

Grammer, spelling and vocabulary: 2/5
Editing is needed. There are grammatical errors and there are some sentences that I can't even understand. It needs to be proofread by someone other than you, maybe a friend or beta reader.

Pacing: 8/10
Given that there are only 5 chapters, the pacing is really good, however, the reason you don't get a perfect score is because there are some long paragraphs where it feels like the character is rambling. This takes away from the general flow of the book and can make a reader want to stop reading. How about you break those paragraphs into smaller ones and cut out things that do not add to the story line.

Plot: 9/10
You loose  that one mark only because you made me review only 5 chapters and I want more, the plot is beautiful. If you can edit the minor things, your book will be a hit.

Character development: 5/10
The characters are hollow and 2 dimensional. I couldn't relate to any of them. For instance, Noah, I understand that you want to convey Timothy as a terrible person but no child would hate their dead parent, they can feel anger or resentment but not necessarily hatred. Harvey claims that Timothy was a good father therefore your audience should believe this through the mannerisms of his children. Given that we are still so early in the story, I believe there is so much room for your characters to grow.
Writing style: 7/10
I read a lot of descriptive books so I know a good one when i see one and this is a good one. You have managed to make the descriptions fit perfectly with the genre of the story. However, there are instances where you are telling your audience something instead of showing them. What do I mean by that? For instance your character is frustrated don't say 'she was sad' say 'her shoulders slumped, she looked away but I could see her eyes water' your audience can already tell that the girl is sad.

Tension: 9/10
Your book is definitely a page turned, it insights curiosity the further you read.

Reader engagement: 8/10
The overall feel of this book is good, I hope you take into consideration the suggestions I have given you. Your characters have so much room to grow, so I hope they become more 3D as time goes on. I will be looking forward to an update.

Total: 66/100