Ohana Reviews

Review- Roses and violets

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Roses and Violets
Author- Hershey_297

Blurb:
Blurb is well written to say the least. We get to know exactly what to expect from the story. The only thing I would suggest is presentation. Paragraph spacing is much needed as the entire blurb is hard on eyes despite the smooth flow of words.

Moving towards the chapters,

Interesting start. Loved the line - I was bored, but then I saw you. A single line that started a series of assumptions in the mind of readers.

Dialogues are good, and I love the comebacks. I really enjoyed it when the girls tattled to Julie's brother about what happened. Although I have to admit they had pretty strong reactions to what Sebastian and Grayson did.

Just look out for one thing- where they are, who comes suddenly and who enters; all this is getting a little confusing. Better descriptions of what is happening apart from the main dialogues are needed for this part.

We got to understand the personalities of the characters from the first  chapter itself. They are unique in their own way. Even though there were so many characters introduced in one go, there wasn't any confusion and we could easily grasp their personalities. A good job done here.

The cringy love letter was actually cringy😂😂.

Wow, I really didn't expect that Rose was aware of the misunderstanding and deliberately threw Rowan under the bus. And the fact Julie supported her in this act.

I like how their personalities are shown clearly through their acts and not through words. However, I would like it if their internal emotions were showcased more.

Great cliffhanger at the end of scene 2. Looking forward to seeing who the master planner is.

The awkward tension in the room was described well.

The dialogues for the issue between Jayden and Rowan could have been better. It didn't flow as smoothly. The matter seemed that it had the potential to make it more impactful so the readers could connect to it more.

From her actions, the play seems important for Julie. I would love to see if there is some background or description for that.

"That went well." This line in that situation did wonders. It was hilarious and a good punch line as everything had gone downhill.

I didn't expect mystery from this story. Excited to see what it is in further chapters.

"I don't bite. I lost my teeth years ago." This was just awesome😂😂.

Micah seems like an interesting character. Would love to see him more in the story.

Just a suggestion: end the scene 4 with Micah saying "I feel betrayed." And add the part of Julie and Rowan in the next scene.

*****

Characterization is done perfectly. They aren't black and white. The grey area leaves them a room for development, making them seem more human.

World building needs some work. While conversations are amazing, the surroundings that tell us about the overall scene dulls it out.  Descriptions need to be worked upon(not talking about physical appearance).

Story flows at a steady pace. A few times I felt the things were told too soon. However, the following dialogues or sarcastic remarks made it perfect for me.

Writing style is more or less good. The dialogues and comebacks are too good. They are probably the main factor behind my interest in the story. A little work is needed on other sentences. Some small tweaks and those sentences would sound better.

Plot is interesting and written well. Yes, there are things that seemed missing. It was written as if we were supposed to know about it already. A little about the school, a little about the play, why was Julie already selected; things like that. Having said that, there wasn't a single moment where I felt that I lost interest in the story.

Grammar:
Sentences are a bit wordy sometimes, making the rather interesting sentences complicated.

There are unneeded commas at many places.

Overall, there weren't any major grammatical errors.

Last words,

It was an amusing story. Characters were unique, immature, funny, and even cute at some moments. Loved their interactions. Concept was interesting, but what I loved the most was the way Author portrayed their personalities through actions and dialogues.

There were so many dialogues/conversations that were extremely hilarious and fun, making me want to highlight each one of them. However, I had to control myself and settled for one or two dialogues.

In short, a very interesting story but it does need some work around the areas.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!