Ohana Reviews

Review- She has the Flowers

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- She has the Flowers
Author- skayleton

Blurb:

Blurb is short yet effective. It is straight to the point and very intriguing. Especially the last paragraph, it raised my eyebrows and made me curious and excited to read the story. A well-written blurb.

The line used in a/n- A snitch, a thief, and a serial killer.....this line is amazing. I would suggest starting the blurb with this sentence/quote. Blurb is already awesome, but it will create a greater impact with this line.

Moving towards the chapters,

Awesome start. It seemed like a quote at first glance, but after reading it I found it to be a headline. Story starts off directly with a crime, without beating around the bush about normal activities, making it much more interesting.

The headlines one after the other and the details after that create a great impact. Writing style is really awesome here.

It was Jamie's confession that led to his arrest and not the evidence. Her actions were question worthy too. This might be a great foreshadowing for the future.

Chapter 00 creates a great hook from the start to end.

Ander's past turns from bad to worse and it is clearly depicted in that paragraph. However, what makes it much more interesting is that he has used an annoyed tone instead of a sad one. It creates a great character arc.

The way it turned around from him thinking of the annoyances of his life to him hiding and looking over someone, was done very smoothly.

Typing like a first grader ...the comment was hilarious.

I really love humour in tense situations. The entire chapter was fabulous and it ended with a great cliffhanger. The entry at the end of the chapter would keep the readers on hook.

Between Jamie and Nylla, it took a few seconds to understand who was speaking which dialogue as the chapter moved by. It would have been great if it was pointed out in some way.

My assumption of River not being the killer might be true. However, he doesn't seem too innocent either. He is scary in his own way.

The descriptions of the room and motel were done nicely. I could imagine everything.

The new character seems intriguing. There is some kind of childishness in her. Her nature seems sweet yet eerie. The River is cautious of her, and resorts to forced politeness speaks volumes.

The revelation of what River did and didn't had raised my eyebrows. My assumption was right for half of his deeds, while the other half was really unpredictable. It threw me off. It just increased the mystery factor of the story.

****
Characterization is done brilliantly. Each character is given a proper screen space, letting us connect with them. They have their own specialties and their own demons. It was a nice idea to have them all have their own chapters. It lets us know what's going on in their minds.

Descriptions are brilliant. It is easy to imagine all the scenes and surroundings.

I like the writing style, especially the starting chapter. The transition of scenes within the chapters are smooth. The end of each chapter is impactful. Every chapter ends with a style.

Concept is unique, and I am enjoying how the story is moving so far. The main plot of them coming together to fight a mysterious person hasn't come around yet, but I am sure it will be interesting considering what I have read until now.

Plot doesn't move at a fast pace. I am sure there is a lot for us to know before we reach the main plotline. However, the pace is steady, and each factor is building up momentum for the main concept. Flow is also good. There wasn't a single dull moment in the story.

Grammar:

The book seems grammatically perfect, at least to me. I couldn't find any error that could disrupt the flow of the story. It is well-written.

****

Suggestions/Confusions:

This paragraph in first chapter doesn't sound right:

Amongst all aggravating events in his life, this fine evening, while he could have easily been sipping coffee and playing piano in his cheap rented apartment, sitting uncomfortably between leaves and bushes instead beat everything.

→there's a comparison, but with what it isn't specified. He could have enjoyed coffee and piano, instead what....what happened that beat everything. This remains unclear, making the sentence awkward.

Chapter two

So is he? Fucking that therapist of his?

→I think there's no need for a question mark after 'he'. And in case it is done for effect, I would suggest closing the quotation after 'he' and then adding something like noses flared with anger/ voice deepened, or something like that, before continuing the question. It will create a better effect.

Last words,

From start to end, there are only praises from me for this story. Apart from two sentences that I have pointed out, there wasn't a single thing that wasn't working. Concept, characters, plotting, mystery, grammar, description; all the factors are brilliant.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story so far. It is interesting and intriguing. Looking forward to how everything turns out.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!