Ohana Reviews

Review- The Tyrant King's Queen

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- The Tyrant King's Queen
Author- Symply_anjay
 

I found the cover really beautiful. It is eye-pleasing. 

Blurb:

The content of the blurb is good. The information has made me interested to look into the story that seems to be unique from others. A tyrant being nice is something that would be fun reading. However, I would suggest making the blurb more attractive. Same content, but a different way. It has the potential to be made much more exciting.

Prologue:

Detailing is very good. I could imagine her disheveled state and also her determination. 

He found her beautiful in her torn and dirty clothes. Says clearly how much he has fallen for him. 

Her subtle actions really show how much she is dreading it. I am assuming she is marrying him for the safety of her kingdom. 

Prologue is well-written. It is a perfect start for the story. The ending paragraph created a right hook.

Moving towards the chapters,

First chapter was nice. Her hesitation was nicely described, at both the times- during the bath and while talking to him.

However, I felt like there had to be something more. Showing more of her thoughts on what has happened, would really create a highlight to this chapter.

We could see more of Maya's personality in the second chapter. She seems like a breath of fresh air. The maturity and difference that comes with aging has been brilliantly shown without spelling it out.

The background of her living alone in a palace was nicely embedded without breaking the flow of the story. However, because of the tense fluctuation, the part didn't reach its full potential. Otherwise it would have connected with readers on a deeper level.

Maya having some knowledge of herbs was really fruitful. The descriptions of her helping him were simple yet engaging.

I enjoyed the conversation between her and her nanny when they made assumptions of who the stranger would be. Along with it, the sadness behind not being made fun of by the royal family was nicely mixed.

Chapter 4 ended brilliantly. I couldn't help but chuckle. Poor girl, her heart must have come out seeing him awake.

Maya in the past was really cute.

He thought Maya was an angel. I really chuckled at that. 

The first meeting of Prince and Princess was portrayed really well. I enjoyed the conversation, especially the sentence where Maya said the he was already announced as dead.

Looking at his reaction, the Prince seems to be suspicious of his family too. And rightfully so, as the following paragraphs show what kind of brother he has.

*****

Characterization is done nicely. They have their distinct personalities and awe worthy moments. I enjoyed reading them, but they always left me wanting for more.

World building is done nicely. The surroundings are well detailed. We can imagine everything. Information is provided at  regular intervals, without making us overwhelmed.

The scenes are really good, but they feel short. Each topic can be expanded, which will make readers connect more with the characters and story.

Concept is different from usual and it is presented well. Plot moves smoothly without a hitch. There aren't any plot holes. 

Writing style is a bit simple but the story is still interesting. 

Chapters flow by like a breeze. The chapter length and paragraphs are short and easy to read.

Grammar:

Fluctuating tenses. They change from past to present continuously. Look out for them.

Punctuations are missing in some areas. 

There is unneeded space after every quotation mark. You can weed them off while editing.

Some sentences seem weird. I have pointed out a few as an example.

First chapter

Typo

Falled kingdom. It should be- fallen kingdom.

Chapter 4

Night arrived and everyone had settled in their various rooms. 

I think cutting off 'various' from the above sentence would be good. It sounds a little weird plus gives off an image of too many people, whereas the castle where Maya resides is almost empty.

Chapter 5

Plus they had come in such large numbers, determined to kill them all.

This sentence doesn't read right, given the context.

Either it would be-

Plus, they had come in such large numbers, determined to kill him.

Or else the part- determined to kill them all. This part should be joined with the next sentence instead of this, if it means that he was determined to kill them all but had to run away.

Chapter 8 

Falling to kill prince is written instead of failing to kill prince.

*****

Last words,

The current story is understandable and also enjoyable. However, it has the potential to grow. The descriptions and detailing of surroundings is brilliant, but descriptions of the scenes can be expanded. Every scene of the story is interesting, but it always feels that there could have been more for the same topic.

The emotions of the characters can also be shown more. Right now, they are really good and also get conveyed really well, but a little more would help readers connect with them on a deeper level.

Story is pretty good but it can get better.

As a reviewer, I have pointed out the areas for improvement, but as a reader, I really liked reading this story.