Ohana Reviews

Review ~ bottles - hearts

Bottles - hearts by @Ivantaed
Reviewer: Kailucy

I'm so sorry for the wait!!

Title: I love the title! It fits perfectly with this collection. The poem by the same name is beautiful as well.

Cover: Lovely cover. I love the color scheme and the font is perfect for it.

Overall: Overall, you have a wonderful collection. I love your writing style. I particularly loved the formatting choices throughout. I will definitely be continuing. You have a way with words andyou know how to engage the reader with your writing. Keep it up!

Individual poems:

Bottles - heart:

I love the comparisons of the heart and a bottle. The rhythm is great and the flow is perfect. Lovely poem.

Her:

I like the formatting choice of this one. Love that "deep" is in bold. My favorite part was that you first compare her to an ocean, then you show how she's not like it physically. Then the last line concludes it perfectly telling you why the comparison was made. I love the strong protagonist feel to it.

d r u n k:

I'm not sure where to begin with this one. You certainly have a way with words.
"Chest heaving with no motion" Like how did you describe anxiety that well. The last lines especially stood out to me.
"Drunk thoughts now remind,
Drowning is terrifying."
Marvelous poem.

Inked:

I love the structure of this one,. First stanza it introduces autumn as beauty and the season of grief and death and mentions that even though everything is dying it's still beautiful.
Then the second stanza starts with "just like her."
Love the comparisons you made throughout and as I mentioned in your poem "her" I love the choice to bold some of the words. Bolding delicate was especially a good choice cause it changes the meaning to the line.
The second to last stanza omg. The whole poem is wonderful but I love the descriptions in that one.

Rose:
This one is a bit like "her" with the structure and formatting. The first line is simple "he was like a rose"
The second line details that it's not in the way you'd assume. It's not for the beauty. The rest mentions why the connection was made. The words chosen were great and everything flowed together perfectly. Loved the duality.

Promises:

Those last lines omg.