Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Cruel Empathy-Part Two

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Cruel Empathy

Author: @EmmeMoore86

Plot Overview: Chapter five was a fun read. The fighting bit was exciting, and I loved Anna trying to find a way out. But after this chapter, it fell a bit flat for me. Everything was written wonderfully! And I really enjoyed some of Rye and Anna's interactions and the little tidbits of background information.

But, there was little to no real action. I guess I'm a bit confused on what they're doing. To me, it felt like four chapters of riding around while they chatted, but I don't know where they're headed or what the plan is once they get there. Perhaps it's my fault, and it was mentioned in the earlier chapters, but by now I'd forgotten, so the journey felt a little aimless.

While entertaining, I was missing the bigger picture. Even just giving your reader something to look forward to–an upcoming event to anticipate, can really help retention. Because right now, I'm not really invested in their journey as I'm unclear on what it is.

Pacing: The pacing felt a little slow to me after chapter four. Again, because I'm unsure where they're headed, but I think even just having Rye have some internal dialogue about his hopes or fears once they get where they're going could help the pacing. If I knew how long to expect this journey to take, it wouldn't feel as drawn out. Because right now, I don't know if the whole story is going to be the journey, or if it will end soon.

Style and Flow: Your writing style is still enjoyable to read. I love the bits of dialogue included as it all felt really natural and flowed nicely. Everything made sense and was easy to follow.

However, while reading, I felt the headers, with characters names interjecting to suggest a change in POV, to be a bit distracting. They made some chapters feel choppy, and I wonder if they're necessary at all. In general, I would recommend against switching between Rye and Anna so much within chapters, but when necessary, I think the text itself could indicate a change has taken place, without the need for the headers.

Characters: These next few chapters were heavy on character development, which was a lot of fun! I think this is where you shine, and it's clear you've put a lot of thought and care into crafting these fully developed characters.

There were so many moments you brilliantly showcased Anna's fiery attitude. During chapter five when she attempted to run off showed she's smart and courageous. And, her attitude towards Rye, being apprehensive or hating his gift felt very realistic. Also, I loved getting to know more about her childhood, it made so much sense for her to run into challenges having her gift growing up.

Rye seems infatuated with her, which does make sense because he's never met a girl like her. Also, I appreciate the realism of Rye being stuck back in time and not understanding how to properly treat a woman. At times, his forwardness and entitlement makes me cringe, but it feels right for the story you're trying to tell.

There's a lot of tension between the two of them, which is making for a wonderful slow burn. It's intriguing and I'm excited to read on for a turning point in their relationship.

Grammar/Spelling: Again, dialogue tags are incorrectly capitalized throughout, but I know you are aware of this, so I won't explain further. Other than things I had already mentioned in the previous review, I didn't notice any other issues.

Final thoughts: I love the main characters dynamic, and I think the premise of this story really aids to a slow-burn romance. You're brilliant at crafting complex characters and I think that's what is really driving this story. If the plot could be tweaked, just a tad, to rev up some suspense and anticipation, I think this could be a hit story. Great writing! (: