Ohana Reviews

Review- Love at Dawn

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Love at Dawn
Author- LiebeKlara

Blurb:

The writing style of the blurb is unique. It is different but still interesting.

The main plot of the blurb seemed really poetic. Both the main plot and sub plot look interesting separately, but I am curious to know how they are entangled with each other.

I loved the ending line of the main plot: Liberty is the right to love and to be loved.

The ending para of the overall blurb was remarkable.

Just one suggestion: Instead of naming them main plot and sub plot, is there any other way these two plots can be named?

I think that small change could make the blurb more attractive.

Moving towards the chapters,

A very engrossing start indeed. There was so much warmth at the start with the people caring for an old mysterious lady. The children who were spending time with her. It was beautiful.

The young man and her, this was really a mysterious setting, opening up a can of assumptions. One of them being that the man didn't age like a normal human. Well, we will have to see. Despite the age differences, the love between them shined through. The essence connected with the readers, it didn't feel forced for even a second.

I really liked the conversation about her living in that peaceful town from the start, and her rejecting that idea in an instant, for she could not live a monotonous life.

The feeling of being abandoned when one person dies first. This part was shown beautifully.

The painter seemed older than his age. It really makes me wonder if he is the same person as the previous chapter and whether my assumption about him is right.

The part where he tried to get away from the blabbering of Edith's aunt was awesome. His irritation and subtle way of changing the topic was shown well, without speaking about it.

Edith, not being able to sit in one place for a painting seemed relatable and realistic, given her character that loved to run in the wild.

It was fun to see Edith annoy him with her numerous questions.

A question- was the painter's room available for all? Even if they weren't a customer?...I would like it if this part was specified.

The disgust on that 'angel's' face when the child tried to grab her cloth said so much more about her than words could describe.

The difference between a show of compassion and helping others just out of humanity is shown really well.

Love these lines-
★What these children need, must not be pity.

★I am just Edith, I only want to be Edith.

The conversations between them are cute as well as thought provoking.

The way she rambled about her friend was so cute. I could literally imagine a child speaking it with childish, awe worthy gestures. I would say I can understand why Andre was so in trance. Him noticing every small change in her face as she spoke was described really well.

Only then did the girl realise how spacious this narrow inn was- The sentence was enough to break our hearts. It clearly portrayed her emotions without spelling out a single word about it.

The attachment was so strong. I am really intrigued to find out why he left just like that.

The words she spoke: Traitor, a false friend...her pain was really felt till her.

I liked the difference in description of Edith shown through the eyes of a regular person and a painter.

I can surely imagine Edith being on the frontline for a revolutionary march.

What an entry! I had somehow predicted that the man giving the speech would turn out to be Andre, yet it was a thrilling entry. Eager to see how Edith faces him.

Bond of Margot and Edith is awesome, especially when they are so different from each other. I would suggest showing more of their bond in little snippets here and there to put an emphasis on this fact.

A woman's head on the stake. Edith might not have been frightened, but I surely did. Not to forget about the fact, that this gruesome situation was a normal thing.

Curious to know the reason why that 'angel' from before was killed. Will it be shown further in the story? Nevermind, the next chapter was enough to understand that the tables had turned.

Looks like Raphael has a crush on Edith😁. Give it up to Edith to totally misunderstand the situation. It was hilarious when she started explaining more thinking he wasn't paying attention.

I feel bad for what happened to Charlene. Their friendship is really admirable.

It must have been a shock to suddenly see Andre in her home. Her reaction was relatable and understandable.

****

Characterization is done brilliantly. Emotions get across so well that we start feeling pain and happiness for the main lead. Author has done a great job here. Other characters were also portrayed well.

World building is good. Descriptions and detailing is done really well. We can vividly imagine through these descriptions.

The parts of revolution has shown well without ruining the main essence of the story. There is no information dump yet we get to know a lot and also get intrigued to find out more about it.

Writing style is really beautiful. The words flow so smoothly and it also gives an effect of a historical era.

Concept is interesting as well as intriguing. The mix of historical fiction and a bit of fantasy is wonderful.  Plot moves smoothly without a hitch. There aren't any plot holes or any dull moments. Story moves at a steady pace.

Cliffhangers were subtle but enough to make a reader eager to find out what comes next. Most of the chapters ended with a bang!

Grammar:

There were a few run down sentences.

Tense fluctuated at some places. Fortunately, it wasn't too much so it didn't break the flow.

I have pointed out changes in some sentences, but it is up to you to decide to change it or not.

Chapter 2

The painter looked at the petite curiously.

→The painter looked at the petite woman curiously.

Chapter 4
★Where does he go?
→It would be- Where did he go?
I read the comment here that it was intentional because she didn't believe he would go far. Even in that case, this sentence doesn't sound right. You can probably write it like this for that effect:
→Where would he go?

★It's said he's not coming back
→ It said he's not coming back

Chapter 5
It was not to blame that she was too forgetful nor that their friendship was shallow.
→It was not to blame that she was too forgetful nor was their friendship shallow.

There are some minor errors here and there, but they don't really disrupt the flow of the story. Overall, the story is well-written.

Suggestion:
★As the first chapter is different from the rest...(little Edith's story remains constant from the 2nd Chapter)  I would suggest turning the first chapter into a prologue.

★ A few times thoughts were in quotation marks, while for some they were written normally like other descriptions.

As this story is written in third person, it becomes necessary to distinguish the internal thoughts of different characters. Writing them in italics or under a single quotation mark will help.

Last words,

It was a beautiful story indeed. Words seemed poetic and Edith's character was just so awesome. I loved the writing style. It really made me want to read more than required. I am a little busy right now, but will definitely add this book in my library for a future read.