Ohana Reviews

Review ~ Never an ever after

Never an ever after by Bloominecraft05

Reviewer: kailucy

so sorry about the wait. I would've had it done about a month or two ago but things came up. I hope it's at least a little helpful.

Title: 5/5

The title is good. It's easy to remember and fits the story well.

Cover: 4/5

I like the cover. The layout is pretty and the fonts look good. It's easy to see and isn't blurry.

Blurb: 5/5

The blurb is good. It introduces the characters well and sets up the plot. It is a good length and doesn't tell too much but gives enough to let the potential reader decide whether they would like to try the book or not. Personally, I would've probably chosen to read it if I found it on my own, it seems interesting.

Plot: 19/20

The plot is good. It's interesting and kept me reading. It is like the blurb described which is important.

Characters: 14/15

So far I think the characters are good. I only read the first 5 chapters so there hasn't been much development yet. They all feel dynamic enough already.

Writing style: 20/20

You have an amazing writing style. I loved the use of vocabulary. The paragraphs were well structured and I could tell you put a lot of effort into your writing.

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 16/20

Okay, so you mentioned that you wanted me to focus on mistakes so I looked over the book twice to make sure I didn't leave anything out. So mostly the mistakes I caught weren't bad just some minor ones. There were instances of missing punctuation and a few sentences need to be capitalized. Chapter one had a few sentences that read a little off but I don't think they were incorrect. (i could be wrong though) The first paragraph is written beautifully but it could be difficult for some to read with the large range of vocabulary. (just something to keep in mind I personally loved it)

In chapter two during the discussion (the Aristotle one) from my understanding one of the students answered with "depression" but then the character goes on to say that none of the answers were right and then states that the answer of depression. Maybe I read it wrong but it's kinda confusing so maybe see if you can fix that.

And lastly, I wasn't sure if I should put this point here or somewhere else but I think it should be here. There were some formatting issues. Like super long paragraphs that got confusing. It's best if you start a new paragraph whenever a new character speaks. In chapter 4 one of the first paragraphs had that issue making it confusing to know who was speaking.

Engagement: 10/10

I had a lot of fun reading this. I enjoyed it a lot and hope to read more in the future.

Overall: 93/100

Overall, you have a great story. The characters are good the plot is interesting. Just see about fixing some of the things I mentioned and it'll be even better. Best of luck with your future writing!