Ohana Reviews

Review- Fixation

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Fixation
Author- Ashpoint

I am not reviewing the cover, but couldn't help but mention it. It is attractive and so relatable to the story. It also has a spooky feeling. I loved it so much.

Blurb:

Blurb is simple and effective. There's no extra-ordinary lines or quotes that stand out, but the blurb as a whole makes a mark. I was intrigued as soon as I read it. It gives off the basics for the story and promises a mystery. I am already hooked by the blurb, and am eager to see what the story brings.

Prologue:

It is well-written. It shows off their chemistry and the trust level. Living everything and going to live in a cabin, the girl must have a blind trust in her boyfriend. The way he convinces her is simple and usual, however it also seems to have an underlying meaning. He does seem a little suspicious, but I will have to make sure after reading the story. Nicely written.

Moving towards the chapters,

Nice start. It is relatable. Being in the middle of woods, it is understandable that she would have nothing better to do if one person is out. Not even halfway to the chapter, and we can see that her sister was right. The man is toxic.

I like the ending of the first chapter. She is drained by his behaviour. And it is shown effectively.

Her hesitation when he spoke about her sister, but then letting him win the one sided argument. The way he behaved over all; The signs are very clear. Although it might be obvious for others, the person in the relationship might take time to realize that her partner is not what she is imagining. I feel everything is shown in a very relatable way.

The way Bri gets away from him to call, deletes evidence, yet doesn't realize that this isn't a natural thing in a relationship. She is groomed and manipulated. This is very well portrayed without wording it out.

The scene with the mysterious man was short, but it was really effective. He made his mark within the small screen space.

I loved the line where he said that he would sleep in peace knowing he warned her.

The fact that the man warned her means he knows something about her boyfriend and also the assumption about her was also thrown out. It is really intriguing.

The dress from someone else in the cabin...
This line has created so many assumptions in my mind. Wonder if they will be true or it might be something else altogether.

Her new job seems to bring something interesting.

*****
Great characterization. We can connect and feel for the characters from the first chapter itself. Their personalities are conveyed well. The work done on characters is the best I have seen so far.

Plot is a little slow paced, but it isn't dull. Nick's behaviour is raising eyebrows. Bri and her sister's bond have made a place in my heart. The connection with characters is building as chapters pass by. However, plot wise there isn't much change in 8-9 chapters. They all are focussed on character building.

World building is done nicely. Surroundings are well portrayed. The beautiful yet lonely nature is shown really well.

Grammar:

Chapter two:

"Unless...is it her boyfriend?"

As she is speaking to her, it should be- "Unless...is it your boyfriend?"

Other than this, there wasn't any error in the book. It is grammatically well-written.

Suggestion:

In chapter six, I would suggest removing the repetition of what happened before. You can write about her feelings while mentioning just the man and the talk with her boyfriend, instead of showing the entirety of what went down. As all those things just happened in the previous chapter, they are still fresh and the repetition of the events seems a little boring.

Last words,

Book is interesting. I enjoy the chapters, but overall it feels a little dragging to be honest. I like the characters and they really connect. Mystery is there but it has taken a back seat. I feel that picking things up after that strange man arrived would make the story much more interesting.

The concept is unique and has great potential. The story is really good but can be made best.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!