Ohana Reviews

𝘙𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸-ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴅᴀᴡɴ

𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗿: @𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗻𝟭𝟭𝟭𝟭𝗷𝗮𝗻 

𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗗𝗮𝘄𝗻

𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿: @𝗟𝗶𝗲𝗕𝗲𝗞𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗮

𝟏.𝑻𝒊𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆: 

The title "Love at Dawn" captures the essence of romance and sets the stage for a love story to unfold. It suggests the emergence of love in the early hours of the day, symbolizing the beginning of a new chapter in the characters' lives. The title not only hints at the romantic entanglements that will occur but also alludes to the potential challenges and sacrifices the characters may face. Overall, "Love at Dawn" effectively entices readers with the promise of a passionate and emotional narrative.

This story is quite captivating and well-written. The introduction sets the scene and piques the reader's curiosity about the old grandma and the town. The use of the children as caretakers adds a heartwarming touch to the narrative.

The mysterious nature of the old grandma and her relationship with the children is intriguing, especially her fondness for the pendant with the hidden portrait. 

The description of the young gentleman and the old woman's reaction to his presence suggests a deeper connection and history between them. The story leaves the reader wanting to know more about their relationship and why the young man's visit is so significant.The dialogue effectively portrays the emotions and depth of their relationship.

However, there are a few areas that can be improved.

One issue is the excessive use of adjectives and adverbs. While descriptive language adds texture to the scene, overusing it can make the prose feel heavy and convoluted. For example, phrases like "intricate attire," "new-style gentleman's suit," and "wrinkled and dim hand" can be simplified for better clarity and flow.

Additionally, there are instances where the dialogue feels somewhat unnatural. For instance, the old woman's response, "My body is something I am well aware of," seems abrupt and lacks the emotional resonance expected in such a sensitive moment.

The old woman's statement, "You still have plenty of time to enjoy a life full of adventures," could be expanded upon to further elucidate her envy. For example, she could say, "You, with your youth and vitality, have the luxury of time to embark on adventures and explore the world to its fullest."

Lastly, the young man's statement about not wanting to experience the feeling of being abandoned could be conveyed more effectively. Instead of saying, "For I would not have met you," which seems slightly disconnected, he can say something like, "Because meeting you has brought immense joy to my life, and the thought of being without you is unbearable."

Overall, while the dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and dynamics between the characters, refining the language and clarifying certain points will strengthen the impact of the conversation.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝟏. This story paints a vivid picture of a young girl named Edith and her encounter with a talented but enigmatic painter named Andre. The author does a good job of capturing the setting and atmosphere of 18th-century France, specifically the city of Rouen. The description of Edith as an orphan with a vibrant and free-spirited personality adds depth to her character and makes her relatable to the reader.

The relationship between Edith and Andre is intriguing, as they initially have a somewhat contentious interaction but gradually form a bond. 

Overall, the story has an interesting premise and there is potential for development. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.