Ohana Reviews

Review- Autumn Whispers

Reviewer-kinalhariya
Book- Autumn Whispers||Jenkook
Author - naleoleo

Blurb:

Blurb is kind of sweet. It has romantic vibes all over it. It is almost kind of a story itself...like a flash fiction. It is beautifully written. Last paragraph gave a nice ending to the blurb. Overall, a great job done.

Just check out the minute suggestion below:

In First paragraph-

★One leading to another

→ Add something before 'leading' to make it sound better. Eg: One thing leading to another/ One meet leading to another

Moving towards the story,

A good start. We get a basic knowledge of their work and workplace.

Although her character is all about fun and laughs with others, there's some sadness settled in Jennie's mind. And this fact is portrayed really well. She seems a bit philosophical too.

Personalities of other members are described well too. It is mostly 40% actions and dialogues and 60% Jennie's words(thoughts). Still a good balance.

"Meeting myself here...is unique." - Cool sentence. (When she saw her advertisement)

Nice ending to the first chapter. Their first meet in the story. It definitely created the hook.

Funny start for the second chapter. I am really curious to know why he bolted out of there like that. Well, I didn't think I would find it out so soon. Happy😁

That cigarette thing can actually create a scandal.

The conversation of Jungkook with his manager was fun to read. Jungkook fake complimenting him and getting caught and the manager's disbelief and shock upon finding out what he needed was hilarious to read.

The comparison with sleeping beauty was awesome.

The suit scene of Rose was cute. The embarrassment and awkwardness were portrayed well. Her missing her dad and wanting to buy a suit for him was lovely too.

Lisa and Monalisa's comparison had me chuckling. And Lisa's pets were cute too, especially when they made no difference between her and furniture.

I am quite bummed that the members didn't like Lisa's surprise. To each to their own, I guess.

The conversation with Bambam brought a smile to my face too. Loved the subtle way Lisa used to show her feelings. Although I did burst out laughing when she had to backtrack in the next chapter.

Suit embarrassment is back again. I can feel the heart attack when the phone's keyboard starts playing on its own. It is a relief that it was random letters and not some weird message. Her imagination of his abduction because of those random messages was so cute and hilarious. She is just so funny.

Jennie seems really talented. Hope she gets the chance to release all her written songs.

Jennie's attitude with Jungkook was quite different from how she is with her members. It was kind of cool though.

I enjoyed reading the awkwardness Jungkook had. I loved the gentle side to him as he considered Jennie being comfortable or not with his approach.

*****

Characterization is done beautifully. All the characters have made their place. There are so many moments I adore them. This is just the start, so I can't really say much about Jungkook And Jennie's chemistry. However, individually I have taken a great liking to them.

World building is done nicely. The descriptions of their work and thingd that come with being famous is shown really well. The culture of their country is also taken into account quite well. It is also balanced so that we aren't thrown off by too much information.

Concept is nice and sweet. I love all the scenes and scenarios but together it gets jumbled up a bit. Flow of the story is good but can get smoother.

Writing style is good. It is easy to understand and imagine what is happening. There is still room for improvement. It can be more polished but the current style is not bad for a first draft.

There are many sweet, fun and exciting moments in the story. However, there are many filler ones too that don't have much need in the story.

Grammar:

★Some work needs to be done on sentence formation. I can understand the sentences, but many times one or two words seems missing.

Eg from the story:

Our future comeback that we don't when will come out.

→Our future comeback that we don't know when will come out.

★Missing punctuations

★If a dialogue is continued in another paragraph then you need to put the opening quotation mark again.

Eg:

"This is right....

"But it feels wrong."

★ Starting letter of the word after the question mark needs to be capitalized as it is another sentence.

Suggestion:

★Too many POV changes and time lapses in a single chapter may create confusion and break the flow of the story. Limit it to two if possible.

Overall,

I enjoyed the story so far. As I said before there are many fun and cute moments that made me go awe. I loved all the characters.

There's just one thing that needs to be taken into account. This story feels like the story of all the BlackPink members and their love interests instead of just Jennie and Jungkook. Everyone seems to have equal screen space and standing in the story. I loved reading about them too. So instead of cutting short their parts, I would actually suggest turning them into main characters as well. This is just my suggestion. You can easily ignore it.😊

I had a great time reading this book. It is written well and has great potential.

Thank you for choosing me. Keep writing!!