Ohana Reviews

Review- You're my Remedy

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- You're my Remedy
Author- Nithya2023

Blurb:

Blurb is short and sweet. Even if it is short, it  provides us with enough information to get a gist of what we will find inside. I love the quote/saying asking to not bow the head. It really touched my heart.

I would suggest removing the quotation marks from the second para(When love is lost....). Regardless of that, please make sure to add a full stop at the end.

Overall, it was a sweet blurb.

Moving towards the chapter,

It starts off nicely. I am able to imagine a tired doctor. The description of the patient was really awe worthy. However, I would request to specify the ages of both of them. And also the pronoun of the doctor for readers to picture this more properly.

Many emotions passed while reading the one shot. You have captured those perfectly. Overall, it didn't seem rushed, however I felt it went too fast during the date scene. When the doctor confessed, Violet looked shocked and rightfully so as it was just a first date. But then they kissed. So a little more dialogue or scene for showing their love blooming and then a kiss scene, would be my preference. Please note, I said my preference and that doesn't mean that you have to absolutely change it or anything.

Doctor loving her even when her appearance changed was so beautiful. The way her feelings were shown at that moment was brilliantly done. The final act of putting the ring on her corpse was just so heartbreaking.

Writing style was different as only one person was speaking for both the characters. It felt like the character was speaking his heart to Violet. It worked really well.

Grammar,

Grammar was good for the most part. I have pointed out a few sentences that need a little tweaking.

★....you were troubling to walk.

→Instead of this, you can write-....you were having trouble walking.

★And you received only a three percent chance of surviving.

→And there was only a three percent chance of survival.

★And I promised myself that I could save you.

Not wrong, but I feel that 'would' will suit better than 'could' in this sentence.

→And I promised myself that I would save you.

Last words,

Interesting story. It was well written and grabbed the essence. There were very few dialogues yet the feelings connected with us. It put a small smile on my face at the start and my heart broke at the end. It was beautifully written.