Ohana Reviews

Review- No mercy

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- No mercy
Author- royallyethereal

Blurb:

Blurb is long but good. It starts off nicely by giving us the information about the Holders and the powerless beings. I am interested to see how the powerless beings would fight back.

A good amount of information is given for us to understand what the story is about and yet be intrigued to know how this will plan out.

Although the blurb is written nicely, I would suggest cutting down on the second part of the blurb(after the symbol). As it is already written in the first part that she comes back after three years, that whole sequence in the second part can be cut off and directly shown in the story.

You can write it like this to keep it short and crisp.

(1st para) The continent of Asia.......spat on.
(2nd para) Being born without an Amulet......adversities and loneliness.
(3rd para) With mind and soul set on.......they'd started.
(4th para) With a plan set in mind, she comes back stronger......(from here same as blurb till the end)

You can gladly ignore the suggestion. It is just what I felt while reading.

Quotes:

I loved the quote - If they stand behind you, give them protection. If they stand beside you, give them respect. If they stand against you, No mercy.

The quote is powerful and it also signifies the title.

And I also liked another quote- Do not make the mistake of thinking that you have to agree with people and their beliefs to defend them from injustice.

All the quotes, along with the one in the prologue were really good, but these two seriously went to the heart.

Moving towards the chapters,

The first paragraph itselfs made me hooked to the story. It was a simple yet unique start to make me curious about the main lead.

The Dynamic between her family is shown brilliantly. In the first chapter itself, the readers are able to connect with the main lead and feel for her.

Information about the world is provided in bits and ever so smoothly that it doesn't feel overwhelming.

The way 'passed away', 'Benecia', 'Delyth' have been emphasized, they create a much deeper effect than a normal sentence. Great thinking!

The story keeps getting more and more interesting as chapters go by.

Ivy's confusion whether to trust the lady or not is shown nicely. The fact that a stranger just told her entire story within the first meeting can raise questions. The Golden amulet is intriguing and I am guessing that the lady is Queen's sister(will have to read further to confirm if my assumption is true)

No matter how far you have come, past memories don't leave you. And it was shown brilliantly. Moreover, the slight sentences of encouragement in between made me feel like there was a constant battle in the mind, which is a sign that the person was recovering from their trauma.

She really held out in front of her classmates. The attitude, the calmness, everything was worth reading. It was written in a way that I could clearly imagine the scene. Many assumptions are roaming in my mind after seeing that she had a golden amulet and the Queen's reactions. I am really excited to see if those assumptions would come out true or if it would be something unpredictable.

I like the fact that per chapter, a person's power is shown. It makes it easier to know and remember them, without being bombarded with everyone's power in one go. (This method was also used in your other book. And I am glad that you continued the idea here as well).

I had assumed that Adora and Matilda were sisters, but their equation was so unpredictable. Forget about the father, but I still can't grasp how Adora's Mother could love Matilda more than her own child. Even if it was still cruel, It would have been understandable that the child of the affair was mistreated, but this  was something that shocked me. I would really like to see if there was a reason behind such hatred for Adora.

The Golden Amulet is really powerful and cool. And the talking part with it seemed really cute.

*****

Characters
Brilliant characterization. Like I first mentioned, I connected with Ivy from the first para itself. The pain, anger, masked emotions, the confidence; each and every part of her is engrossing. Even the villains are planned out perfectly. Their maliciousness is shown through quite clearly and the way they still think they aren't wrong. Everything is depicted clearly. All the supporting characters have their distinct voices as well.

The teenagers that are going to be on Ivy's team haven't been introduced yet, but I have an inkling about one or two who might be them.

World building
I haven't read any other story like yours in terms of world building. Everything is so beautifully explained that it doesn't feel like we are reading about a world that we don't know from earlier. Descriptions are balanced, there's no info dump yet everything is explained.

Plot
Concept is so interesting and intriguing. It is written so well too. With every passing chapter, there are hints that make me guess what is going to come. Some come true while others blow my mind, either way it is interesting. The chapters flow so smoothly. There hasn't been a single dull moment while reading the story.

Grammar:

First chapter

1) If she wasn't going to be regarded as a member of the family, why then were they still yet to put her back where they'd found her seven and a half years ago.

The sentence isn't wrong but sounds weird while reading. See if it can be tweaked a little.

Other than this, the story was grammatically perfect to me. I couldn't find any error that disrupted my reading.

Last words,

The story is awesome but the way you write is something that exceeds everything. I really like your style of writing. It is so captivating that it makes it hard to stop reading. Definitely keeping the book in my library.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!