Ohana Reviews

Review- Dope Aria

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Dope Aria
Author- LeanneJo

Blurb:

Blurb is intriguing. It lets us know the base of the story. It is rightly shown that the industry for artists is not simple. There are many factors that outsiders have no clue about. I am interested as well as curious to see what changes the lives of the three artists.

The thought behind the blurb is perfect, but the writing needs some editing. There are some mistakes which need to be corrected and sentence formation can also be worked upon.

I have pointed out the mistakes below:

★Soon they'll navigate the world as singers, and they're troubles seem to go away....

This sentence should be written as
→Soon they'll navigate the world as singers, and their troubles will go away.

★....and reality hit them where it hurts..
→reality hits them...

Blurb is good, just some polishing is needed.

Moving towards the chapters,

We are directly thrown into a character's life. Within a few paragraphs we come to know about the character's life through dialogues and action. It is easy to connect with the character this way. A great job done here.

The wife and husband of Dope Aria records have raised my eyebrows. Of course, they aren't morally right, but they are quite interesting characters.

First chapter ended with an awesome cliffhanger. However, it would have much more impact if the same sentence was formed a little differently.

The whole chapter was interesting and hooking enough for the readers to want to move towards the next chapter.

The second chapter was quite short but it was effective. It showcased a great change in the character's life which might turn the events in the story. I would suggest putting a glossary at the end of the chapter for the dialogues in different languages.

Things seem to be looking up for Obsidian. It was quite surprising that the man who wanted to give him less money, helped him to know the policy that would help Obsidian.

****

Chapters are short and sweet. They are interesting right now, but they have the potential to extend over the same topic. The same topics would create more impact with more dialogues, body language and more emotions over what's happening.

Characterization is done nicely. It is just the start so I can't say much but the characters do connect with the readers.

Writing style is good. There are cliffhangers at right places, making us eager to see what happens next. And information is also provided little by little at the correct point of time.

Descriptions and detailing can be worked upon a little bit.

Concept is interesting, making me want to continue reading. Plot flows at a steady pace. And there are no plot holes seen until now.

Grammar:

Just like the blurb, there are slight errors in grammar, especially the verbs. Sentences are understandable, but they feel a little weird, breaking the flow of the story.

Sentence formations need a little work.

Last words,

Story is written quite well for a first draft. It is easy to read and flows smoothly. There are improvements needed, especially where grammar is concerned. However, the story seems engrossing enough to keep going.

I liked reading the story. Looking forward to seeing how it progresses.

Thank you for choosing me. Keep writing!!