Ohana Reviews

Review- Taken, Respectfully

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Taken, Respectfully
Author- Myadence

Blurb:

A short yet effective blurb. It is interesting and shows us a gist of the main story. Escaping from a lunatic, getting kidnapped and kidnappers being respectful; all these have raised my eyebrows in anticipation. The blurb is cut to point yet manages to raise curiosity. I am really intrigued to read the story after reading the blurb. Great job done.

Prologue:
Prologue was interesting. World building already started from here and it ended with a great hook. However, I think the whole prologue could have been written in a more captivating way. Same information, just in a way that could catch a reader's attention, especially the start.

A typo or a small mistake: Including the Kings twin brother...

It should be King's twin brother. Apostrophe mark is missing. Other than that, it was well-written.

Moving towards the chapters,

Nice start. Straight to the point. Main lead's character traits show off in the starting few paragraphs itself.

I loved the small scene between Sol and her. It showed off their bond beautifully.

I am really curious to know why her father hated her.

If muteness was extinct then why wasn't her muteness cured. I understand why the king wouldn't want it but other people might have questioned. Looking forward to seeing if this question somehow gets answered.

What happened to her and her uncle was so scary! I literally had goosebumps.

Ending line was well-written. A simple sentence but it created a great hook.

The new characters seem interesting. Looking forward to seeing more of them.

Reeve seems like a fun character. Her insults and even her way of giving out an apology are fun to read.

Loved the idea of using flowers and petals as currency.

Sseralune's inner thoughts and plans are interesting and fun to read.

In the earlier chapters it was shown that she started learning skills to survive. However, when the gas station came, she didn't take up the chance thinking that she wouldn't survive in a forest or beach.

I seriously don't think anyone would think about that, when they are planning an escape. They would take any chance they get to escape first, before deciding how to move further. The current scenario would have been acceptable if she had no skills, but it was shown that she has practiced for so many years for the grand escape.

This shows off her character trait perfectly. She is just delaying things, probably because she isn't that courageous to live independently.

The pros and cons for going to sleep were hilarious.

This girl, does she really want to escape😂😂. She lost another chance.

Kayn and Sseralune have met before. This was a nice touch to the story.

He probably couldn't recognize her because of the magic locket. However, even she didn't seem to remember him when they met. Maybe something happened during that time. Curious to see how it turns out.

The translations, the way she confidently signed thinking he couldn't understand😂😂. I couldn't stop laughing at the scene. Loved it.

The paragraph about fear was brilliantly written. It beautifully depicted what she felt and it was a nice end to the chapter.
****

Characterization:
Characterization is done brilliantly. Everyone has their personalities defined and have made their mark. They all are distinguishable, even the supporting characters who have small screen space.

Sseralune's character is exceptionally well written. She isn't neither fully shy nor totally bold. She isn't a spoilt, pampered princess; but isn't too rebellious either. The character doesn't fall under any stereotypes, making her unique in her own way.

The pirates' entire group is intriguing. They all have some interesting personalities. There's also something mysterious about their back up stories. Not too much to put readers on edge, but enough to make us curious about them.

Descriptions are minimal. However, they don't affect the understanding of the scenes much, so it's all fine.

Concept is unique and awesome. Pace of the story is steady and smooth. Overall, the plot is nicely drafted except for one minor plot hole written below.

1)It was mentioned that no one else knew sign language, but this new person did. Even though it is a planned move, and we might get to know why and how it was possible; Sseralune should have been at least surprised that a stranger knew the dead language.

******

Writing style is good, but has the potential to improve. Dialogues and inner monologues are interesting. Punch lines are great too. However, the overall flow of words need to be worked upon a bit. Keeping the dialogues and punch lines the same, the other parts/sentences of the chapters can be turned into something more captivating and engrossing. So it flows more smoothly.

Suggestion
Use some kind of symbol, or turn the text into italics when flashbacks or dreams are being shown to distinguish it from the regular story.

Grammar

Minor punctuation errors.

Tenses keep fluctuating continuously, breaking the smooth flow of the story.

First chapter
I was as surprise as everyone else at this banquet.

→ I was as surprised as everyone else at this banquet.

There aren't really any major errors apart from the continuous fluctuating tenses.

Last words,

Story was unique, interesting and intriguing. As the chapters passed by, the story became more and more hilarious. Characters were fun to read. And there were also a few mysteries along the way.

Story is well-written, but it does have the potential to improve more.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!