Ohana Reviews

Review ~ Lawless Heaven

Author: AshlynLynx
Reviewer: Kailucy

I had this done months ago but I lost all of my notes! I was trying to be as detailed as my first review but decided I've kept you waiting long enough. I'm so sorry if it's disappointing after the long wait!

Cover: 5/5

The cover is beautiful! The framing around it was a perfect touch and I love the color scheme.

Title: 5/5

I could talk for ages about the title and how perfect it is. Firstly, it fits the story so well. It's easy to remember. Honestly, this is one I've been excited to review since it's been requested based on the title alone. And it did not disappoint. There have been times I picked up books based only on the title and didn't really like them but this was amazing.

Blurb: 5/5

Short and simple. I really liked the quote you used. It's very raw and has a certain amount of edge. It could be a little longer and normally I'd say it would probably better with a little more, but in this case I think it's great the way it is. There's a lot a potential reader could speculate and I think leaving it how it is would make most want to know why that line was chosen to represent the book.

Plot: 19/20

I could talk about the plot for ages. Holy smokes I was blown away at how perfectly paced this was. (it's probably worth bearing in mind I have no issue with slower paced books and in most cases enjoy when an author spends time on character)
Right from chapter one we jump into action and questions. Goodness, there are so many questions.

The only reason I marked it down one point was that I found one of the chapters a little confusing at first but I caught on to it soon enough so it was probably a me problem.

Characters: 14/15

The characters right off the bat were captivating. I immediately wanted to know more about them. The Fellow is so mysterious but he also brings out some good points. The orator creeps me out. Eli is a great character to follow. His characterization is great. All around the characters are entertaining and easy to imagine. They feel real and I love how you gradually show more of their personality.

So far there's been quite a bit of development and there's still so much room for more. I'm excited to see where you'll take the characters next. I have to know what will happen to them.

Writing style: 20/20

I cannot begin to express how much I loved your writing style. The way the sentences were structured, the descriptions. Chef's kiss! I wish I had some advice to give but honestly I read through it three times and couldn't find anything.

I feel like dialogue is usually where most writers struggle. Usually it falls flat or it's too over the top but you write it in a way that I could actually imagine the characters saying it. There were some raw quotes that I had to read over.

Another thing I noticed is that your writing style fits perfectly with the story. The writing has an eerie feel to it adding to the mysterious vibes.

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 18/20

I noticed a few errors here and there. They weren't major and didn't distract from the story but it's definitely worth checking over.

Mainly it was missing punctuation.

Engagement: 10/10

I literally couldn't put it down once I started. The first time I read through it I forgot I was supposed to do a review so I had to read it through again to try to find things to critique. I've already added it to my library where it will stay until there's an update.

Overall: 96/100

Overall, you have a marvelous story. There are a few things that could be improved but for most part it's great. The characters are dynamic, the plot has enough mystery to keep a reader hooked, and the writing has a magical feel to it making the reader want more and more. Keep writing!