Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Love at Dawn [Part Four]

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Love at Dawn [Part Four]

Author: @liebeklara

Plot Overview: [16-20] These next five chapters were some of my favorites to read, so far. It seems the action has really picked up! The revolution is heating up and times are tense. Your knowledge on the matter continues to impress me, and you've created a believable story by weaving in realistic details throughout.

Chapter nineteen was a highlight for me. It was action-packed and wonderfully written. I was on the edge of my seat anticipating what was to come for poor Edith. And you described the scene so vividly; it was a great read!

Furthermore, these next few chapters really highlighted Andre. He's wise and knowledgeable. Strong and commanding. Yet, there's some sort of mystery swirling around him. You've done a wonderful job throughout the entire story sprinkling in little easter eggs about Andre's past. And it was also a smart decision to add controversy around him in the papers, as it ramped up the tension.

Lastly, we met a new important character, finally–Fiona. I'd been looking forward to meeting her as she's mentioned in the blurb, and I'm intrigued to see where her storyline goes. Overall, great work with these five chapters–they were engaging and exciting to read.

Pacing: The pacing felt really nice. While there was a lot of action, you did a great job of adding in narrative elements to keep things from moving too quickly. So, no complaints here!

Style and Flow: Again, your writing style is what makes this story such a gem. You're a beautiful writer, and the words you choose perfectly suit the setting and time period. One description that stood out to me was the introduction to chapter seventeen. You displayed the scene wonderfully through your description of the countryside winter.

Another scene that stood out was in chapter twenty, where you described Charlene's movements. Every detail was so vividly described, I pictured that entire scene so clearly. Action scenes are difficult to pull off–and you did it well.

Characters: Again, Andre's character really shined during these chapters. I love all of his rants to show off his intelligence and suggest he is years wiser than his age suggests (; Also, I enjoyed the tiff between him and Raphael in chapter twenty–it was entertaining and realistic.

You've done a great job keeping Edith's character consistent. She's still the same young girl with a fiery drive, but now, we're starting to see her mature as she experiences more. I appreciate that while Edith is smart for her age, you've still kept her young and foolish at times–it adds a necessary touch of realism. For instance, I loved that Edith didn't stick to the instructions Andre gave her to not talk to strangers. Instead, she tried to help Fiona, which felt suited to her character.

Last thing, I have to mention Charlene because she was a standout. I've enjoyed watching her arc develop and she's become a surprising favorite. Overall, I love all of the characters you've created, and you've kept them true to their core while allowing subtle character growth.

Grammar/Spelling: I didn't notice any errors–to be honest, I'm unsure if I was too taken with the story to notice, but either way, it was a seamless read. The only grammatical error I would suggest you keep an eye out for is in regard to dialogue. There are times when a dialogue tag is not present (she said, a man shouted, etc), yet you've ended the dialogue with a comma. If no dialogue tag is present, you can end the dialogue with a period inside the quotations.

For example: "He's over there." A man pointed to the dog.

Example from the text: Andre quickly pushes her back down, "No, Citizeness Saint-Clemont..." (because Andre pushing Edith suggests action, a period should be placed after down).

Final thoughts: You're a wonderful writer. I always enjoy reviewing your work as it's guaranteed to be a good read! These five chapters were no exception–they were action packed and engaging from start to finish. I only wished I had more advice to offer. Happy to keep reading and hope you keep writing more stories! (: