Ohana Reviews

Review- The Cursed Bond

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- The Cursed Bond
Author- Denyefa4

Blurb:

I like the content of the blurb. However, the writing needs some editing.

From past tense to present tense, there is a continuous fluctuation, breaking the flow. Along with that there are minor errors with sentence formation. The content of the blurb has an engrossing factor, but because of the way the sentences are constructed, the hook has diminished.

Moving towards the chapters,

A warm start. It felt like reviving childhood memories as the stories started in the same manner back then.

Information about the four tribes and their problems was nicely described.

What happened to Cathy was really sad. However, it would connect to the readers if it was shown through actions or dialogues rather than just telling it. With the current method, I know I am supposed to feel sad for the character, but it doesn't make me feel anything. If there is something shown then the connection of the readers with the characters builds.

It is better to give out the information about college, wolves, their control and pass when a scene comes through, instead of just letting it out. Or at least after Cathy gets the admission. Before the admission, it would be best to stick to the surroundings and view of the college, while rules to be informed after she experiences it.

The boy she met seems really kind. I really liked the words he used to encourage her.

Martha seems like an interesting character.

I am a little confused. They were here to get results then how come they got the admission on the same day. What about luggage and informing families?

Story has a unique approach. It is usually the first child that has the most responsibilities. I liked the new idea. It was refreshing to read.

She seemed surprised by the colour of the wolf? That means it was the first time she shifted. But how did she realize that she was a white wolf? There was no description of her seeing herself somewhere. She has to see her reflection to find out.

Nath seemed really good to me at first, but the way he nonchalantly shrugged Vivian off...it didn't settle with me. A break up was obvious as he got his mate, but the way it was done really mattered. This shows the grey area, where no one is perfect.

Cathy and Athena are a great pair. The wolf is intelligent as well as amusing.

****

Characters are really interesting. But, as I have told for Cathy, it also goes to other characters. Show instead of tell. Dialogues and actions will make a better connection than the characters reading a speech about themselves. Being said that, I really like their personalities. They are refreshing to read.

Descriptions of the surroundings are written really well. It is easy to imagine the place.

There are some places where I thought that the information was dumped upon readers. The same information could be given slowly while there are some scenes revolving around that information. It would make it much more memorable too.

The pace of the story was good. However, the prophecy seemed sudden and out of nowhere. A slight build up for it would be good. The readers would be on their toes. Having said that, the prophecy itself was really intriguing.

Concept is awesome. And the plot is good for the most parts. It is interesting enough for me to keep reading. However, there are errors that need to be resolved. Some things are overly explained while some need explaining.

Suggestion:
As the first chapter moves to Cathy, there's a complete change of plot. So I would suggest putting the information about the Gods and devil as a Prologue. It will be best as we will get the information that is going to be of help in the story, yet not break the flow of the story.

Grammar:

Fluctuations of tenses, minor punctuation errors. There are some sentences that can be merged into one. And there are some that need to be broken into two different sentences.
There are some minor mistakes in sentence formation. I have pointed out some errors in the sentence formation as an example.

1)The three gods were in good term..
→The three Gods were on good terms...

2)The gods joined forcing to shut the vail....
→ The Gods joined forces to shut the vail...

3) Besides I promise to avenge on him..
→ Besides, I promise to avenge him.

There were many other sentences with such minor errors.

Story is still understandable, so it is nothing too serious. It just needs editing.

Last words,

Story itself is interesting. There are many facts that are amusing and intriguing. Characters are also likeable. Considering all the factors, I can say that the plot is good, but it needs to be presented well.

Story has lots of potential. With some improvements, it will really shine.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!