Ohana Reviews

Review: Whisper Valley

Reviewer: kinalhariya
Book: Whisper Valley
Author- HoraWhora

I love the title. It is unique and relatable. It seems really intriguing and made me want to read what this story is about.

Blurb:

There are three paragraphs in the blurb, and I found each one of them interesting individually, especially the second paragraph. However they didn't seem to make a connection as a whole(to me). A little more context about the story would be great. 

Moving towards the chapters,

Starting paragraph is awesome and different from the usual ones. It directly takes us to the mind of the main lead and her writing. However, do check out the first line.

As I read the first line, I followed the actions according to the writing and that made the image.Opening the computer, closing the curtains and then writing, this seems a bit out of order to me. So maybe, the part- closed the curtains should come first before opening the computer. 

It is better for the story to show yourself and your relations through actions rather than straight out telling it.

The book feels more like a diary than a story.

The bickering of the mothers and the main lead's thoughts were fun to read.

I absolutely loved the writing piece(about death). 

The way the author used the mistake and then correction with a * in the text made it more real and relatable.

Great cliffhanger and interesting turn of events. The message was intriguing and interesting, also scary if I was the one who received it.

The tension between the family members is clear. However the scenes had more potential to be well executed.

I like the concept of the story, but work needs to be done in the writing style. There is a lot of info dumped about unnecessary and mundane things, while the main descriptions of the fantasy part of the story seem lacking.

The scene of her gathering flowers, meeting animals and the fight with Yosef was brilliant. It was all beautifully described.

Story keeps getting interesting as chapters pass by. The book and the mother's conversation has left me curious to read more.

Characters are nice and have personalities. They have potential to grow more, but they are still awesome. 

Her relationships between family and friends are also well portrayed. Not seeing eye to eye with siblings and always back answering is something that is most relatable. 

I found the story has used derogatory terms a few times, whether for fun or anger, doesn't matter. I would really suggest against using them.

Descriptions at the starting chapters need to be cut down, however they are perfect for the fantasy part of the story.

The dreams, the book, parents hiding something from her, everything is really intriguing. 

Grammar:

Fluctuating tenses. The story keeps fluctuating between past tense and present tense. It would make it more presentable if any one style is selected. Other than this, I didn't find any errors. 

Last words,

The concept of the story is awesome.

The fantasy part of the story is brilliant and the story really takes off after that. I would suggest cutting down the mundane and unnecessary things from the starting chapters as they might stop the readers from reading more and find out the awesome story that follows up later.

Story has great potential. A little bit of improvement and it would do wonders.